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Relapses with friends

2020.08.10 11:27 anonthrowaway211 Relapses with friends

Im spun at work, torched a small shard out of my buddy's bowl before grave shift. Been up for a night already, rolled a few bowls earlier in the day while doing some side work hauling things with a trailer.
Let me preface this by saying that my drug use is on-off. I was a complete alcoholic drug addict up until late 2016, decided to get clean after some bad decisions and detoxed on a friend of mine's couch over the holidays. Since that I haven't really dabbled too much, just weed and the occasional MDMA as it floats through my area. Bout a year and a half ago(maybe longer), that same friend would roll a bowl with me every few weeks or so when I visited.
My friend, well call him Todd, is about a half-year younger than me (early 20s), he's got a small family unit with a girlfriend/her mom a stepson, and a year old daughter. At first, seemed to me that Todd was doing okay, taking care of his family and not spinning into Oblivion. He lost his labor job(unrelated), and has been on-off with other sidework and mechanical work.
I used with him just about every time we would kick it, usually only every week or so. Always took care of myself after riding the highs out (drank water, occasionally snacked, took vitiamins on the comedown, never stayed up past 2-3 nights, etc.), whereas he would do the same but stay up for longer and use more frequently. This continued over the next year-ish until it started affecting him. He's been found completely passed out with the fishbowl laying in his lap a few times, started making plans with me on tweaker time, and has started leaving his home and staying out more frequently due to a fairly frequent fighting with the other members of the house.
When his family relations regressed more, he started coming over to my house and smoking with me at night. I kept my use consistent, though the frequency is a bit too often for me(I thought once or twice a week was overdoing it). Watching what he has fall away is hard for me, and we've talked about it with each other, moreso in recent days.
Todd doesn't get bunk, either. Mexican ice and some great crank mostly, but it's never a bad baggie. Point being, we get a real good roll going most nights we smoke, and he doesn't seem to feel like he's riding the spiral. One of the conversations we had involved me telling him that he should put it down for a while, and he responded with something like "I'm an addict, I'm always going to want to get it, and I'm always gonna know where to get it." and things like "As long as I'm not stealing or talking to the shadow people, I'm good".
This deeply upsets me, as I've watched Todd father his stepson as if he was his own, and have his own flesh and blood baby in the process. His girlfriend has unrelentingly argued and yelled at him(reasonably), and he doesn't feel comfortable or happy enough to stay home anymore. He still provides for his kids and brings home money, and when he's there he's a loving father. But because of his actions, the fighting and arguing has landed him on my couch almost every night. It's a catch 22.
As for me, I've maintained myself, my relationship, and my mental stability through this time, and I've been watching him do damn near the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the high as any Upper would, but I know when to say when. I refuse new bowls after one is spent most of the time, and ever since he's been frequenting my place I'm not usually up as long as I have been tonight. But I do talk to his mother-in-law who lives with them, she gives me updates about what's going on with Todd in the off chance he's home. I never say anything about it directly, but I keep her up to date on how he is doing here as well. She's not happy with him for obvious reasons, but also thinks that her daughter is pushing down too hard on him when he shows up to make an effort.
I can see in his face and demeanor that he is getting tired of what he's dealing with, and he's told me that he's depressed over the feeling of resentment against him at home. Ive known Todd since we were little kids, and I know he's a better man than how he has been acting.
Before people call me a hypocrite for smoking dope as well; I'm not the one who buys it, and I also talk to him pretty frequently about him setting that down, but he falls back on the "Imma addict" defense and doesn't want to hear it. I don't want to keep pushing the subject because it's brick wall at this point and I don't want him to shut me out as well. I figure the best option would be to let him walk his path and try to be there where I can, even though that path is the wrong way.
I learned about my own neurological and physical relationship with the shit, and that is the reason I haven't let myself burn out in the same way. I decided that I'm gonna stop zooting with him altogether and see if that gives him incentive to get himself right before he pursues a recreational vice.
I needed to get these thought out, thank you for providing me a place to do so, [MUCH LOVE EVERYONE]
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2020.08.05 19:45 dumbjellybean Am I selfish for having a boyfriend?

(21f) I feel like I’m tricking him by hiding the extent of my issues. He knows I had a tough childhood but nothing further than that. My brain has been telling me to kill myself on/off since I was 14, and since I won’t it replays every unpleasant thing in my life and twists it to all be my fault.
He doesn’t know I cry most nights, or that I’m unproductive at work right now, or how badly I want to do drugs or cut myself. I’m getting another tattoo this weekend. I just need a squeak of endorphins with a side of healthy pain. I don’t feel alive at all and I see everything like I’m in a fishbowl. I puke sometimes my brain gives me so much trouble.
Am I supposed to isolate myself and deal with my issues alone? I think I’m being selfish continuing to date him, he’s so nice and deserves someone happy and popular, but I WON’T tell him what’s going on. We haven’t dated long enough and I don’t want to feel that vulnerable yet. But I enjoy the distraction of paying attention to another human, it helps.
Started seeing phone therapist three weeks ago wooo but why should my boyfriend have to unknowingly date someone who wants to light themselves on fire every other day?
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2020.07.26 04:58 Victory4Life Has anyone had an issue with former bad approaches affecting your approach with new women?

I live in a small town, or a fishbowl as they say, so a lot of women under thirty of all kinds know each other, especially the hot ones. I’m outside of that circle so to have a chance to date any I have to cold approach. Since starting to learn game a few years ago, I’ve done some really clumsy approaches that have rarely got me anything past a number. Now after a few years I’m starting to wonder if I’m getting a bad rep with some of these women since I can’t get anywhere with them. I play in a band, one of my few social outlets, and one girl I hit on was sitting in a few rows looked uncomfortable and after seeing her whisper in her friends ear walked off with her.
It just seems like there’s something in the grapevine about me since it seems like the door is shut even if my game has improved. Has anyone dealt with this? Can you run out of cold approaches where you’ve done so many that they know each other and eventually it gets around that you’re the shy desperate dork who’s always asking women out? Can you get a bad reputation? If so, how do you solve it, move to a city? Men (or women) what advice would you give here to keep practicing approaching and dating without it backfiring.
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2020.07.23 01:05 imnotbobsrobot My (35m) exwife (27f) got the divorce papers and called me to talk about it

Ill try to stick to facts... So my (35m) exwife (27f) called me the other night when she recieved the official divorce papers in the mail.
We separated one year ago, when she left, abandoning me, our apartment, our whole arrangement. The last year was filled with episode after episode of drama and troubled communication. Most times I saw her (after the seperation) she was drunk or actively getting drunk. Presumably to be able to talk to me. I filed for divorce this past December and it finally finished just last week.
There was another guy in the picture. She had been hanging out and spending time with him before leaving me, and towards the end had denied anything going on yet being deceptive about who's car that was type stuff. She was staying out late at night and not letting me know what was up. She still states that he had been pushing for a relationship, but she wasnt sure. He knew she was married.
Fast forward to now, I've been single for a year, have gone on a few dates here and there (online dating sucks majorly). I did meet one person and we've had a fwb meet once or so every month give or take.
I find myself feeling like I dont have interest in dating. People dont appeal to me. I still miss my ex. When it was good it was great. And i get the feeling of two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl. She hasn't really moved on. Shes a foreign national from Russia, we met here in the states 6 years ago while she was studying abroad.
We met up the other night when she called. Sat at a 24 hr restaurant at 3 to 5am and just talked, kept it chill. We both agreed that having the pressure lifted from the marriage felt good. We both agreed that we communicate really well with each other. We both agreed that we were best friends and it sucks.
I just keep doing my usual, work alot, spend time with my daughter, work on my projects.
She admits to wrongdoing. I do too, with my issues that pushed her away. I guess at least there is that.
Feels like I shouldnt push things with her though, one way or another, but I've told her many times already "I cant keep doing this". This back and forth, maybe, maybe not bullshit.
Anyone with advice? Thank you
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2020.07.06 19:15 Buck_Joffrey Wealth Formula Episode 219: Macrowatch with Richard Duncan!

Catch the full episode: https://www.wealthformula.com/podcast/219-macrowatch-with-richard-duncan/
Buck: Welcome back to the show everyone today my guest, well he's become sort of a regular somewhat regular on the show as well as some other shows in the podcast arena like Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad radio. He also has a video newsletter which I have become a big fan of called Macro Watch and I really do like his approach to macroeconomics and so please welcome back, Richard Duncan Richard. Thanks for joining us back from Thailand, right?
Richard: Right Buck, thank you. Thank you for having me back.
Buck: Yeah how are things over there right now, I mean is there much disease, Covid 19 etc going on and we're in your neck of the woods?
Richard: So in Thailand there have not been any new locally transmitted cases for something like thirty five days now. The total number of cases is reported to be something like 3,200 in total and the number of deaths is less than 55.
Buck: Yeah it's interesting because you know one of the things we thought preview before when I talk to you is maybe you had something to do with the weather but obviously we've got this big big spike here in the US and it's coming in the summer months so that's probably not the reason you know but but whatever the case is they're doing something right there and we're doing something not as right.
Richard: Well one thing that the Asians have all done right from the beginning is they've all been wearing masks quite religiously and so yes I've been too optimistic that the virus would die out when the summer came to the northern hemisphere sadly yeah so I can't explain why there have been so few cases in Thailand other than the possibility that is due to a combination I think the sunny weather certainly doesn't hurt and the humidity that the mask must perhaps also plays a very important role in reducing the number of cases.
Buck: Didn't they also have some kind of mass vaccination for the MMR or mumps measles rubella at some point?
Richard: You may be right about that but that's not something I've ever heard of, I'm not aware of anything like that
Buck: There was some Asian country that had this mass adult vaccination which we don't usually do in the US and there have been some reports of protection from that. At any rate listen welcome back. You've been again Richard you've been kind enough to update us on this crazy Covid economy that we've had and every time we talk it's like we haven't talked in three years because the changes that ensue in the interim so you know at the macro level what's the latest and you know how bad is it?
Richard: So you're right we the last time we spoke it was four months ago at the beginning of March and I just listened to that interview again a couple of hours ago and boy has the world changed since then. Luckily the policy response out of the US government has been remarkably aggressive and that is limiting the damage that the virus is doing to the economy and of course to society. So let's review. As of today I think a hundred and thirty thousand Americans have died from the virus and so when this started exploding it really was right around the time in the US it really was right around the time that we spoke in early March. Well since then the stock market fell very sharply and the government responded extremely aggressively. On March 15th I published a macro a watch video called recession or depression and I argued then that not the US went into only a recession or a new Great Depression would depend entirely on the speed and the magnitude of the government's policy response in terms of fiscal and monetary stimulus. So fortunately the government has responded very aggressively the government has passed rescue bills amounting to something like three trillion dollars and consequently largely due to that the government dead this year year today has increased by three trillion dollars and the Fed has created roughly the same amount of money on something 2.8 trillion dollars so far today and so this combination of very aggressive fiscal and monetary stimulus is the reason that we still have an economy that it all resembles the economy we had last year and before.
Buck: Well what I gonna ask you though that it really isn't reflecting the economy we had and maybe the stock market reflects it right but underlying this there's a lot of I mean ugly numbers isn't that fair?
Richard: Yes I mean the second quarter is certainly going to be a disaster and a third quarter is increasingly looking tough as well but let's think about what would have occurred without this. The government has been sending people who are unemployed an extra what is it six hundred dollars a week and on top of that they sent out the checks for $1,200 and in addition small and medium sized businesses are being able to borrow money from the government as well as large corporations. And so without that support tens of millions of Americans would have defaulted on their mortgages, their rent, their credit cards, their car payments and and the probably the majority of the small and medium-sized businesses would have failed and that goes for the large corporations as well at this point. And so that means that all of the banks in the United States would have already collapsed by now because you know in the rosiest possible scenario the banks have capital in theory of 10%. Well that means that if they if 10% of their loans default they lose all of their capital and you know this is being very optimistic about their true capital levels, so we're talking about mass defaults on a scale that we would you know 40 50 60 % defaults they would have been bankrupted multiple times therefore destroying all the savings and all those deposits and entirely destroying our economy.
Buck: No doubt but I guess the question I have is related to the idea that you know we have a phenomena which I think is really unusual you know there's always been some discord in this in recent years but probably more now than ever where you have businesses okay they're surviving but they're certainly not thriving and if you look at the equity markets what you're seeing is okay well for a while we had when it was almost looking like a bull market again it slowed down a little bit but it certainly has not corrected to the point that might reflect you know some of the realities in the economy and presumably that's just a function of the Fed's monetary policy. Can you explain sort of what's going on there and you know and what some of the net effects of that might be?
Richard: Yes so a little history. In the first 93 years of the Fed's existence between 1914 and 2007 on the eve of the crisis in 2008, in those 93 years the Fed created in total something around 900 billion dollars. Now just since this crisis started in the last well this year today the Fed has created 2.8 trillion dollars. So in a year today they've created three times as much money as they did during the first 93 years of their existence. And that has resulted since they started QE four in October last year, the feds total assets have expanded by 90 percent since the 1st of October. So that gives you some idea of the scale at which the Fed is creating money and pumping it into the economy helping to finance the government's gigantic budget deficits which support the stimulus payments. So this money that's being pumped into the economy the new money being pumped into the economy by the Fed that is the reason the stock prices rebound the stock market hit a low on March 23rd that's the day when the Fed rolled out what some people call QE infinity when they started printing creating limitless amounts of money. Over the next week that last week of March the Fed created something like five hundred and seventy billion dollars in that one week. Now again to put that into perspective by comparing it with the total amount that they created in the first 93 years of 900 billion, 900 billion versus 570 billion in a week. So the Fed has responded just with tremendous firepower backing up the government's fiscal stimulus programs and rescued programs and that's the reason you know sooner or later we will recover from this virus, the virus will burn out one way or the other either we get a vaccine or if else everyone will get it sooner or later and we'll have heard immunity and at that point when we come through this on the other end whenever that is 18 months from now two years from now whenever, whether or not we have an economy left is going to depend on how much the government continues to support the economy in the meantime. Once we're through this then there's no reason we can't return to the same sort of economy we had before. Whereas if they don't continue to support the economy on such an extraordinary scale than the economy that we have on the other side of this virus will look nothing at all like it did when we went into this crisis.
Buck: It certainly seems like we're going to continue down the route that we are at on both sides of the aisle politically it seems like there's certainly the will for that. So getting back into this idea of printing money though one thing I want to ask you and I think a lot of people you know who are not economists wonder, you know conventional wisdom is that if we print a lot of money that the net result should be inflation, yet we didn't really see that much in 2008 despite you know multiple rounds of QE and I always wondered why that was the case and I heard you on another interview pointing out why printing money doesn't necessarily result in inflation in the US but you described a paradigm where we essentially export our inflation to other countries because of our trade deficit. Can you explain that a little bit cuz I think that's a really important concept that sometimes I don't think most non economists really think about.
Richard: Right well conventional wisdom grows out of economic orthodoxy that developed in the 19th century and during most of the 20th century. But that orthodoxy is no longer appropriate for the world that we live in today because that orthodoxy was built around the premise first of all that gold was money and that the Fed couldn't create money unless it had gold to back up the money that it created now this created a set of circumstances that are no longer in existence for instance under those circumstances where money had to be backed by gold countries had to have balanced trade they couldn't have very large trade deficits because if a country had a large trade deficit it would have to pay for that deficit by sending its gold to the country they had the deficit with and so that would mean that the money in the country would contract the money supply would shrink and that would throw the economy into a severe recession people would lose their jobs and they'd stop buying so much. And so it was just impossible for countries to have very large trade deficits. But once the Bretton Woods system broke down in 1971 and even before that the United States has stopped backing dollars with gold entirely in 1968 the Fed was no longer required to hold any gold to back the dollars that it issued. And so afterwards at first if the US was a little bit slow to catch on but starting in the 1980s the United States discovered that it could run huge trade deficits with other countries and it didn't have to pay it with gold anymore it could just pay by creating money and printing or creating selling Treasury bonds so in other words this time when the US had a big trade deficit with Japan or Germany, it didn't send them gold it just sent them dollars and since those countries accumulated dollars they had to do something with the dollars. And what they did with them was typically buy Treasury bonds. So by the mid-1980s the US trade deficit was three and a half percent of GDP this was entirely unprecedented in history and it corrected after the Plaza Accord the the dollar was devalued by 50 percent against the Yen and the Mark and the trade deficit did correct back to practically nothing in 1990 but then China entered the global economy and by 2006 the trade deficit had grown to six percent of GDP that was eight hundred billion dollars in that one year alone in 2006. Sso this changed everything. In the past when trade balance that meant that the United States economy and the other countries in the world they had relatively closed domestic economies that generally worked fairly close to full capacity so for instance if a government had large budget deficits and the Fed created a lot of money that would tend to over stimulate the US economy and pretty soon everyone would have a job and also all of the factories would be working at full industrial capacity. And so with the extra government stimulus that would lead to upward pressure on wages since we had full employment already and also it would lead to inflation because the factory simply couldn't produce enough goods to satisfy all the demand that was being created by the government stimulus. And so that led to high rates of inflation such as we saw in the early 1970s and throughout the 1970s. But once the US started running these enormous trade deficits with the rest of the world we circumvented those domestic bottlenecks. We no longer had to rely just on the US workforce or US industrial capacity. Suddenly we could buy from everywhere in the world and we very quickly learned that we could buy things in countries where the workers made five or seven dollars a day instead of two hundred dollars a day in Michigan including benefits. So globalization has been extremely deflationary and by allowing us to have to produce within a global economy and the global population is approaching eight billion people and out of those eight billion, two billion of them live on less than three dollars a day. They would probably count themselves lucky to get a job paying ten dollars a day. This supply of labor is practically infinite. These low-cost labor will be around for generations. And so this is putting this is the reason US wages haven't gone up for decades and this is the reason why the Fed and the first of all while the government has been able to run trillion-dollar budget deficits and the feds been able to finance them with creating trillions of dollars without causing any inflation at the consumer price level.
Buck: Globalization essentially allows us to export our inflation.
Richard: Well I wouldn't say export the inflation. I would just say it's like think of our economy as a fish, a fish bowl. We're a fish in a fish bowl our economy is a fishbowl our fish bowl has been dropped into the ocean we're no longer constrained by the walls and the boundaries that once contained us, we now have a vast global economy where we can make goods and hire workers who are on for less than $10 a day. So we're not so much sending other countries our inflation as we're just buying from them and importing deflation.
Buck: The other interesting aspect of that in my view is the global trend toward Deglobalization and the implications of that.
Richard: True. So right now we have been able to for example compare 1930 and the depression of the 1930s with 2008 and what happened afterwards, in the early 1930s dollars had to be backed by gold and everyone believed in economic orthodoxy and that balanced budgets and that sort of thing. So the government really didn't do very much and the economy and all the credit that had been created during the roaring 20s, people began to default on that and they were just stuck, the banks failed, a third of the banks failed destroying people's deposits and life savings, the economy went into a depression, it never recovered from that depression through any sort of natural market forces. It only recovered when the government undertook incredibly large budget deficits to finance and fight World War II. During the four years of World War two the US government debt expanded five times and the Fed’s holdings of US government securities expanded eleven times. So that ended the depression, not any sort of return to market forces or lays a fair now compare that with what happened in 2008. We had an enormous credit bubble it started to pop the private sector couldn't repay their debt they started defaulting but this time rather than allowing them all to default and allowing all the banks to fail the government jumped in with trillion dollar budget deficits and the Fed was free to create as much money as it wanted and finance those deficits by buying government bonds and therefore keeping the interest rates at extremely low levels and consequently we didn't collapse into a Great Depression we had a 12 year expansion of the economy that was the longest in history and that brings us up to the present. Now suddenly we've been hit by the coronavirus crisis and they are following a 2008 playbook, but even more aggressively as I mentioned three trillion dollars of new government debt so far this year and almost that much money created by the Fed so far this year.
Buck: And then multiple rounds of QE and then now I guess some discussion about this concept of yield curb control right.
Richard: But first you were asking about the rollback of globalization knob, that's the real risk because it worked in 2008 all this money creation and fiscal stimulus because it didn't cause any inflation because we had globalization. But now, globalization is a risk. Even before the crisis started we had the trade war going with China which was quite serious even before the crisis and looking ahead it's going to probably become worse now but is globalization going to be rolled back completely probably not. Now even if we do much less business with China going forward it is still a very big world Vietnam has something approaching 90 million people 80 90 million people in Indonesia far more than that. Bangladesh, India there's still a very large world full of low-wage workers that US companies could tap into in order to continue manufacturing their goods at very low prices. So yes I mean we do need to grow back globalization to some extent this has been a real lesson force in the coronavirus showing that we were the United States was not even capable to produce a sufficient number of surgical mask or ventilators or medicines domestically in the United States leaving us very vulnerable. Just imagine if we were suddenly attacked by some foreign power we may not be able to produce the weapons we need to fight the war. So yes we should do we should really very carefully rethink what is manufactured in the US and what we import from abroad but still at the end of the day we're still going to have a great extent of globalization. Now if you look at a spectrum of ranged between no change in globalization and the complete end of globalization so taking it from zero to 100% we may roll this back to 90 percent from where we are now or where we were a couple of years ago, but we're still going to have a big extent of globalization. The less globalization we have the more inflationary we'll have. If we have inflation then we're going to be back in the environment we were in the 1960s and 1970s where the government won't be able to have large budget deficits and the Fed won't be able to create a great deal of money without causing consumer price inflation and if there's a lot of consumer price inflation that's very bad for the economy and for the stock market because when inflation goes up then interest rates will go up as well and if interest rates go up of course it's bad to the housing market it's bad for the property market it's bad for gold because people can put money on deposit in the bank and earn a good return whereas if they hold gold they don't necessarily they don't earn any yield on gold so in any case it is going to be a very important question for everyone as to how much globalization is rolled back but I think at the end of the day what we're going to find is that it's not going to be rolled back all that much and that all of the money creation that has occurred so far and that is going to continue to occur hopefully over the rest of this year and into next year we may find say 18 months from now that we still don't have any inflation despite this extraordinary expansion of money creation by Fed and if we find that we still don't have any inflation even after that then there are very important lessons we need to learn from this whole experience. You can really think of what is occurring now is perhaps the greatest economic experiment in history. Never before certainly not in peacetime has there been such an extraordinary expansion of government debt and the central bank's balance sheets. Well if we get through this with no inflation then what does that mean? What should we learn from that? Well what it what I think we should learn from that is that we are indeed now living in a very different economic environment that the economic orthodoxy of the past is no longer appropriate for the environment in which we're living. The economic orthodoxy which taught that budget deficits are bad and central bank money printing is bad will have to be considered it will have to be reconsidered start-finish, in other words I believe what we will probably find out a year and a half from now or two years from now is that we're not going to have very much inflation yeah and therefore you know if we can so far the government debt is expanded by three trillion as you said the Congress is likely to pass more rescue bills pretty soon and the government debt will probably end up expanding by at least six trillion and maybe ten trillion before this thing is over and the Fed's balance sheet is likely to expand it could expand almost as much as the government debt. So if we find out that the government can increase its debt by six trillion to ten trillion dollars over a two year period and the Fed finances that with a similar amount of money creation and we still don't have inflation, then I think the thing we should learn from that is that we are in an environment now that would enable the US government to borrow and invest in new industries and new technologies on a very aggressive scale without and having the Fed pay for that investment, without having to fear inflation giving us the opportunity to induce a new technological revolution that would supercharge the US economy, vastly expand productivity and create technological miracles and medical marvels and secure US national security for generations to come. So what I’d like is the government invest ten trillion dollars over the next ten years in the industries of the future.
Buck: I've heard you talk about this often or and before the Covid before this you know this current Covid era that we're in I always said well gosh that would be interesting but there would never be any political will for that. That I think is is changed I think that that there very well may be especially if there's a really sluggish recovery from this there could and there's a you know a different administration that very well seems within the realm of possibility to me.
Richard: Well it’s changing very quickly yes they say there are moves in Washington to advance this sort of agenda now and also Charles Schumer even before this crisis started back in December he had advocated in front of a defense community at a speech in Washington in December, NovembeDecember that he said he was going to propose a bill for the United States to invest 100 billion dollars over the next five years in artificial intelligence and genetic engineering and robotics, neurosciences the industries of the future in order to secure our national security against the rising threat of China dominating the future. China has been the first to develop 5g and their government is investing very aggressively in new technologies and new industries. If they win the AI race the way that they have won the 5g race then they control the future. We will be a vulnerable second rate has been power 15 years from now if China gives AI before we do and it's very possible that they will because they've overtaken the United States in their research and development investment last year and if the current rate of growth continues for both countries by the end of this decade they'll invest 40 percent more in research and development than the United States does by the end of this decade and that one year alone. So our national security is at risk we are going to lose control of our own destiny if we don't begin investing much more aggressively in the industries of the future. And so the big lesson from this greatest economic experiment and history that we're living through now may very well be and I hope it is, that we can easily afford to invest ten trillion dollars over the next ten years since we just managed to spend six trillion dollars over a year and a half.
Buck: It's certainly certainly controversial and a some economists would consider it heresy but it who knows who knows you know we're in completely unchartered territory now so it's anything that sticks I think is probably the right team.
Richard: Well it’s certainly heresy for the Austrian economists. I can hear myself an Austrian heretic because I do but you know I do believe that what Ludwig von Mises wrote in 1912 was certainly appropriate for 1912 when dollars were backed by gold. But if you don't spend too much money and if the central bank's created too much money it led to high rates of inflation was unsustainable and was damaging. But that's not the world we live in anymore, it’s no longer appropriate for the age in which we live. The sooner we’re past that orthodoxy the better off we're all gonna be.
Buck: Let me ask you this though, because this is you know any necessary any leanings when we're just like listening and learning but isn't there a sort of a moral hazard to this you know idea that we can print forever and it's not a big deal and there's no accountability, I mean if there isn't there isn't but it's hard for me to believe that we can just continue to do that and not have any repercussions.
Richard: Well so I don't know if we can do this forever you know I'm not saying we can do this forever I'm just saying let's do it for as long as we can do this. It's been 12 years since two eight and has the roof, has the sky fallen? Has there been any cataclysm from completely ignoring economic orthodoxy? We haven't collapsed into the Austrian economic hell that they said was coming because we're living in a different economic environment now. So if we can do this for another ten years and we can invest ten trillion dollars over the next ten years in new industries and technologies, these investments will completely transform our economy it will supercharge our economy it will mean for instance we could cure all the diseases with that sort of investment. If we cure all the diseases we expand life expectancy if not just by years but perhaps by decades and that resolves all our worries about Social Security and Medicare going bankrupt. And also it will secure our national security well into the future. So this is an opportunity it won't last forever nothing lasts forever but as long as it lasts we need to grab it, grasp it, make the most of it and not let it slip away.
Buck: Let me ask you one last question on this, which has I've been thinking about because so far you know monetary and fiscal policy has has worked to you know to a degree where you know despite the you know this seismic event that we've gone through now things have been relatively controlled right and is it possible in your opinion that we kind of just get through this without any significant major tsunami from what's already happened if we continue to just keep pumping money into the economy? In other words is it to me you know my initial thought on this whole thing has always been I mean there's just no way we can have a completely soft landing. In your opinion could we have a soft landing?
Richard: Well look at the United States is an extremely rich country and the size of the economy last year before the crisis started was roughly 21 trillion dollars and the government's debt relative to the size of the economy was something like 110 percent of GDP. So even if the government had to spend 21 trillion dollars keeping our economy intact, that would double the size of the debt relative to the GDP, so then we would have government debt to GDP of something like 220 percent ,that's less than Japan has now. Japan's government debt to GDP is 250 percent so yes the government the US can spend as much money as necessary to keep our economy intact and to keep people in their homes and to keep people from falling into hunger and yes there's I think we're not going to spend anywhere near 21 trillion dollars, we may end up spending no it could be 10, if it's 10 well that's unfortunate but so be it that's just the price we'll have to pay because it's so much better than allowing the economy to implode because if the economy and close the debts the debt is going to explode anyway because if the economy shrinks by 25 or 30 percent or more as it would without the government support then tax revenues would collapse and also the government spending on welfare payments and unemployment insurance would explode. So the deficit would become very much larger in mean way it's far better to spend the money keeping the economy intact and then when the crisis is passed the tax revenues will resume and the unemployment will fall back to very little hopefully low levels again.
Buck: So yeah bottom line is you think it is possible which is which is interesting and and and as we move further down the down the road here to me that sort of the thing that I would have really not believed but as the government keeps pitching in and the Fed keeps pitching in it seems to be more and more realistic that we could actually come out of this without too much more pain. So Richard I have been watching, I've been a big fan of Macro Watch the newsletter. Tell everybody about that again and remind us how we sign up.
Richard: Great thanks Buck. So yes Macro Watch is my video newsletter. I’ve launched macro watch in 2013 so it's been going quite a long time now and essentially every couple of weeks I upload a new video, it's basically me doing a PowerPoint presentation on something important happening in the global economy and how this likely to impact the stock prices, bond prices, commodities, currencies commodities, interest rates, financial markets in other words and so I hope your listeners will visit my website which is which is RichardDuncanEconomics.com and take a look. And if they would like to subscribe I'd like to offer them a 50% subscription discount if they hit the subscribe button and when prompted if they input the discount coupon code formula they can subscribe at a 50% discount discount code is formula. And so then they'll get one new video every couple of weeks and they'll also have immediate access to the Macro Watch archives where there are more than well more than 50 hours of macro watch videos including four different courses on subjects like monetary policy and how the economy really works and China's economic crisis and capitalism in crisis. So I hope they'll check that out and at the very least sign up for my free blog there, RichardDuncanEconomics.com
Buck: And I highly recommend it and and I'll tell you one of the things Richard I'm talking to Richard about is the fact that you know it's especially in the investor world, and in the podcast fear we listen to different people and you know their opinions but it sure would be nice to to have a better foundation, to make your own decisions what you're talking about you know Austrian economics and that sort of thing but you know right now it's like you listen to a podcast you listen to a speaker and you know all you all you get is their perspective, you don't really understand necessarily the underlying concepts and you know your ability to agree or disagree with stuff and one of things I really like about Richard’s newsletter is not only the up-to-date stuff but as you mentioned there's this back content that gives you sort of your crash course in macroeconomics at least you know the functional stuff that we need to listen to an interview like this or to listen to some of the others in the area in the podcast sphere and actually you know make it meaningful rather than somebody just telling you something that you don't have enough information to think about. So thanks again for Richard I'd really enjoyed that and again I highly recommend that people check out that Macro Watch newsletter.
Richard: Buck, look thanks. So it's really important that people understand how the economy works now as I was saying earlier. It doesn't work the way that it used to. The orthodoxy that was appropriate for the age when dollars were backed by gold is completely inappropriate for the world we live in. The economy works completely differently now than we did before and so Macro Watch will teach you how the economy works now and the financial implications of that.
Buck: Richard thanks so much for being on the show again and I would love to have you again in the next, it's almost like the world is moving right now in dog years so you know well so the next year or something like then I'll end up being in about three weeks.
Richard: Well hopefully the next time we speak much better at that point.
Buck: Thanks Richard. We'll be right back.
submitted by Buck_Joffrey to u/Buck_Joffrey [link] [comments]


2020.06.28 01:25 lionfacelemonaface She was my first actual relationship

My little story.. I was with her for 3 years. We met at a codependancy class in my mental health support apartment. (I know right?) We went to her friends house to watch evil dead. Her good friend had taken her prescription 5 fold so our first 'date' was watching a movie then waiting for the ambulance then we hooked up. (A good trauma bond sped things up)
We then moved on to a near lockdown with her coming to my bachelor suite for atleast 14 hours a day every day. We lived in the same building so she only really slept and had sick days in her own apartment. She had health issues out the wazoo and and unbelievable baggage from the past so I jumped into the savior role and round n round the drama went.
My bff is female, and my ex was in the drag queen scene so they were always in her ear about us. There was a few pregnancies scares and a 4 month miscarriage. We did the tests and they were positive until we went in for the ultrasound. So it never really got real for me but it was devastating to her since she wanted kids with me (She had a teenager who she gave up at birth)
My place wasn't very handicap accessible so we had troubles that really felt magnified in the fishbowl of my bachelor suite. And when we out she clung to me and hardly spoke to anyone (unless it turned to oversharing)
We agreed on NC for 3 months when we split up in Mid Feburary we've kept it up since. I hella miss my friend, even if we weren't best friends imo. She actually understood my mental health issues, was an empathic ear who was a great communicator and never lacked clarity. Unlike me it seems
I've been trying to meet someone new in the middle of Covid (how do people do this now?) armed with knowledge that love bombs are not natural though I miss them all the time. I was told I was spoiled by her by my family all the time. Although they only knew a quarter of it.
Sorry for the rambles.
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2020.06.22 12:23 Tomorixo Season 1 vs. Season 2

I’ve had some time to reflect after finishing Lazy in Space and even though it expanded on lots of character development and gave us more insight on certain backstories such as Puppycat’s origins, the Hands and more on Deckard and Cas’s family. However, I thought that Lazy in Space had less memorable episodes than Season 1 did. The only ones I really enjoyed were Episodes 1, 8, 9 and 13. The episodes in this season seemed to regularly follow a pattern, similar to Season 1 but in a less interesting fashion. At some point in almost every episode, Bee or Puppycat have something happen where they need money or want to fix something for somebody, they go to Temp Space, get an outfit change, do a boring job and then get transported back home where they may or may not get paid. Cas also fights Toast, we get some antics involving her brothers and the episode ends. What bothers me a little is that the worlds they visit aren’t as fun and imaginative as in Season 1. That world they visit where they have little fingers to learn things looked like it could have come from an episode of Rick and Morty. Season 1 had the fishbowl world where Wallace turned into a terrifying monster, the jello world that consumed people’s souls, the bathhouse with the giant cats, the video game world where Bee genderswaps and the donut world where Bee met Wouley. I really can’t remember any Temp worlds from Season 2 other than the one with the little fingers and the circus world where Bee and Crispin go on a cute date (Bee x Crispin ship is awesome btw, I didn’t expect to jump ship from Bee x Deckard so quickly).
Overall I did enjoy Lazy in Space thanks to the further world-building of the Island and its characters, as well as the flashbacks, but the Temp Worlds were also an enjoyable part of Season 1 for me that I felt they didn’t put as much effort into this time.
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2020.06.10 08:27 disposable_account56 Ana & Estela

(Based upon a post from the Gatekeeping Yuri subreddit - credit to OP for the inspiration)

Estela hated college.
Sure, her classes were fun, and she was enjoying her newfound sense of personal freedom, but there was one problem that overshadowed everything.
Estela didn’t consider herself prone to make judgements about people. She was slow to anger; and cheerfully accepting of others.
Yet, she needed to remind herself that she had the patience of a saint every time she walked into her shared dormitory. Outwardly, it would seem that there was nothing wrong with her roommate, Greta. The dorm room was remarkably tidy and well-organized, with nary even a shoeprint on the floor. Clothing in the hampers, separate bins for recyclables and garbage, and beds complete with neat hospital corners were all present - a rare occurrence in a freshman's dorm room, indeed.
Greta was quiet and studious, usually spending late nights at the library surrounded by books. Both girls even shared a sleeping schedule - lights out by 10 pm, awake at 6am, and no late nights on the weekends.
Estela would’ve considered herself blessed, if not for the fact that Greta was possessed of one, small, glaring fault. She would not stand for any mess at all in their shared space, not at all - and she had no qualms about making this clear to Estela.
Estela wanted to hang some decorative posters and personalize her space? Greta declared that the adhesive could damage the wallpaper - and Greta was not about to get charged for Estela’s wallpaper, as damage costs were spilt between renters.
Estela wanted to eat at her desk? Greta would already have the dustpan and brush ready - and she would sit watching for the smallest of crumbs.
Estela wanted to buy some plants to brighten things up? With dirt and water and insects all possibly involved, Greta wouldn’t hear of it.
Estela forgot to take off her shoes before walking inside? The things that Greta mumbled under her breath made Estela regret ever being born.
Greta was meticulously clean, and things had become so tense that Estela wasn't able to relax, even in her own space.
It came as a huge relief to Estela when Greta proudly annouced that she had been accepted into a prestigious medical school - although, in retrospect, Estela realized that a passion for cleanliness perfectly suited a future surgeon like Greta.
Still, the dorm room felt very strange, empty, after Greta took her things and transferred. Estela loved the freedom of having a room all to herself, but she somehow missed the regular presence of another human being.
So, when she was notified that she’d be sharing her dorm with a foreign exchange student, Estela was overjoyed.
That night, she made a special effort to tidy her things and to make the room ready for her new roommate - even choosing an outfit beforehand, so that she could make an extra-special first impression.



Her new roommate would be arriving during one of Estela’s morning classes, so, on the day of her arrival, Estela left for class wearing her favorite pink dress and a head full with all of the exciting things that she could discuss with her new roommate.
Estela was almost sure that she had walked into the wrong room when she returned. It looked like a tornado had swept up an assortment of band posters, piles of paperwork, and the entire scope of punk culture - and then sloppily deposited everything upon the other side of the shared dorm room.
Estela just stared at the mess for a while. Her own personal things were undisturbed, but she could hardly walk to her desk without stepping on an important-looking document or a piece of flashy clothing.
With a sigh, Estela picked her way to her desk, stepping over a red sock, a tank top emblazoned with a skull, and some textbooks. She collapsed into her desk chair and massaged her temples - she could feel the beginnings of a headache already.
It wasn’t long before the door creaked open with a surprising gentleness - and there, in the doorway, stood Estela’s new roommate.
Estela couldn’t help but to be amazed by the sight - the girl was a perfect match with the way that she kept her space: messy, but fun and expressive.
Finally Estela came to her senses. She stood and extended a neatly-manicured hand towards her new roommate. “I’m Estela,” she said, “pleased to meet you.”
The girl wordlessly shouldered past her, giving the taller Estela a good look at the green streaks in her hair as she set the obnoxiously large box that she had been carrying on the nightstand with an odd sloshing sound.
Ana let out a relived sigh, a short puff of air that pushed her dyed bangs away from her face. Then she turned to Estela and nodded in greeting.
“Sorry about that - I’m Ana.”
“Um, yeah, I’m Estela.” Estela said, then cringed internally - what kind of an idiot introduces themselves twice?
If Ana had noticed, she was polite enough to avoid saying anything about it. Instead, she gestured Estela closer with one finger while opening the box that she had been carrying with the other hand.
Estella moved closer to Ana, stopping suddenly when the girl gave her a stern look.
“Look, promise me that you won’t tell a soul about what I’m about to show you?”
Startled, Estella nodded.
Ana pointed at Estella, accusingly. “Say it….” She warned - harshly, but not unkindly.
Estela rolled her eyes. “Okay, Okay. I swear that I won’t tell another single soul about what you’re about to show me, Ana.” she mimicked.
Ana grinned conspiratorially. She opened the box to reveal a small fishbowl with a goldfish inside. “Meet Fido.”
Estela’s thoughts collided with one another.
She couldn’t decide what to say: “Wait, you brought a pet with you? That isn’t allowed!” “Fido is the name of your fish?” “I know we just met, but will you please go on a date with me?” “Where did you transfer from?”
Estela blinked, surprised at herself. Why on earth would she ask a stranger - much less her roommate - on a date? Wouldn’t that be awkward? Sure, Ana was pretty, and cool, and she seemed nice - any idiot could see that. But what was she thinking, wondering if Ana would go on a date with her? Ana probably wasn’t even attracted to women.
Luckily for her, Estela had to hurry across campus if she wanted to be on time for her next class. She politely excused herself, with a promise to catch up with her new roommate that evening.



As the door closed behind her beautiful new roommate, Ana sank onto the floor with the fishbowl in her lap. “Oh, Fido,” she whispered, “what am I gonna do?” She was in trouble - her roommate, Estela, was gorgeous and (judging by the size of the stack of textbooks on Estela’s desk) incredibly intelligent - and Ana happened to be thoroughly gay.



Both girls were exhausted by the time that they returned from their respective classes. Since Estela had been awake all day, Ana chivalrously offered to get dinner for the both of them to share.
After checking for allergies, Ana returned with two cartons of Chinese food and a big grin.
(Estela secretly hoped to see more of that cute smile, and as often as she could.)
They stayed up for hours that night, talking, laughing, and exchanging questions - mostly about life in America and what it was like to transfer between schools. Ana shared that her major was Biology, and Estela happily told Ana all about her studies in the field of Engineering.



Life was good for a while - both girls got along well, they were performing well in all of their classes, and everyone was enjoying making friends and exploring their personal freedom. Estela was happy to share the dorm with someone so lively and so cool (although Ana was still messy) and Ana was excited to have such an intelligent and accepting person as her roommate.
Most of their weekends were spent together: Ana helped Estela decorate her half of the dorm room, and in return, Estela showed Ana all of the best locations in the city - from the quiet pond in the park to the excitement of the annual town parade. Ana hated crowds, but she found herself enjoying the time with Estela, especially when they held hands to prevent getting separated.



Unfortunately, things soured between the two when Estela returned one morning to find the door room floor coverd in water, a mess of plexiglass parts, and a panicked Ana cradling a fish in her hands.
“Estela, thank god!” Ana began, “we need -“
Estela angrily cut her off. “Ana! What have you done? I left this morning for midterms and I come home to this!?” Estela gestured angrily at the soaked floor. “How have you even managed to make such a mess!?”
Estela was expecting a fight from the self-confident Ana, but, to her surprise, Ana hung her head like a kicked puppy.
With Fido safely stowed in a glass, the two girls spent the better part of an hour mopping up the mess. Not a word was exchanged, but Ana endured many glares from across the room as Estela crawled about on her hands and knees with a roll of paper towels.
When the floor was dry, Estela wordlessly marched out of the room, returning with a few tools from the engineering lab. Within minutes, she had repaired and improved upon Ana’s homebuilt fish tank, even managing to conceal it in one of the drawers of the nightstand.
Ana opened her mouth to apologize to her roommate, but the other girl stormed out of the dorm room without a word.
Ana gently poured Fido into his new home and stared glumly at her pet. Fido bubbled and stared right back.



The two girls avoided each other for several days afterwards, wordlessly interacting only when it was needed.
Estela began to feel bad about treating her roommate so harshly. She knew that Ana felt awful about making the mess, and she herself regretted behaving so callously thereafter. She wanted badly offer an apology to Ana, but she just didn’t know how to break the suffocating tension between the two.
So when Estela woke to the sounds of a heavy rain, she took her chance at making a joke. It was hardly appropriate, but Estela had come to realize that she would do nearly anything if it meant that Ana would smile at her again.
“Guess I’ll be swimming to class today, hm?” Estela said lightly.
Ana furnished a weak smile. “Listen, Estela, I really am sorry that I spilled that fish tank on the floor.”
Estela smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry too - I shouldn’t have been so cross with you afterwards.” Estella opened her arms and grinned hopefully at Ana. “Can we be friends again?”
Ana’s smile returned, a lot happier this time.
The two girls shared a gentle hug. Neither wanted it to end, but Estela suddenly remembered that she would now need to jog across campus if she didn’t want to be late. She turned towards the door.



“Wait!” Ana called, struck with a sudden inspiration. She dashed over to her dresser and returned with a careworn jacket, which she draped around Estela’s shoulders. Ana carefully fastened the buttons, then stepped back and grinned. “There - now your fancy clothes won’t get wet.”
“Oh, Ana, you don’t have to -“ Estella began, her hands coming up to caress the surprisingly soft material of the punkish jacket sleeves.
Ana waved dismissively “Oh, come on - it’s the least I could do! After all, you built Fido a new home, and I’ve never seen him swim about with such delight.”
Estela could only smile softly in reply.
Ana gently but firmly ushered her roommate off to class, then closed the door and returned to her side of the room, where she threw herself on top of her bed. Of course Estela looked adorable in Ana’s favorite jacket - and of course they had to be roommates instead of girlfriends. Ana, frustrated, screamed into her pillow - why did love have to be so difficult?
Eventually, she stood and moved to her nightstand. She slid open her fish drawer and stared down at Fido. Again picturing Estela - so cute in that stupid jacket - Ana shook her head and whispered: “Fido, I’ve made a huge mistake.”



Ana couldn’t help it - Estela was simply too pretty in that jacket. Soon, she was using every excuse that she could think of, just to offer the jacket to her roommate.
When there was even a single heavy cloud in the sky: “Hey, Estela, it's raining again - you can borrow my jacket if you want it."
When the temperature dropped by a few degrees: “Estela, won't you get cold waiting for the bus? You'd better take my jacket, just in case."
When it was moderately sunny: “Wearing long sleeves can help prevent sunburn! Here - take my jacket.”
Eventually, Ana just gave up: “It's, uh, really windy out there today? You can wear my jacket, if you'd like to."



Estela didn’t know why, but she loved Ana’s jacket - the way it smelled, the way it fit, the way that it complemented her favorite outfits - whether it was tied around her waist or snuggled over her shoulders, Estela felt happiest when she was wearing that jacket.
Naturally, Estela was very thankful that Ana seemed only too happy to allow her to borrow it. Neither girl even bothered to offer an excuse anymore - it was commonly understood that Estela could wear it as often as she wanted to. And she did wear it often, as it was a substitute for the affection from Ana that Estela so desperately craved but was too afraid to ask for.



Ana was feeding Fido when her phone buzzed - a message from Estela! Happily, she opened the message to find a selfie of Estela - always so captivating in that jacket - posing in front of a graffiti mural of a rock band. The photo was captioned “Saw this and thought of you!” and a small cartoon heart.
Ana nearly dropped her phone into the fish tank.



Estela tapped the send key, hoping that Ana would like the picture. As she was about to close the messaging app, she noticed, in the photo, something on the jacket - a pin. She hadn’t seen it before.
She examined the jacket, finding the pin nestled between others and a few assorted band patches. It was peach and white and pink. Estela’s heart soared.



Estela knew that she had to act carefully - she didn’t want to mess things up. The next few weeks were spent in subtle reconnaissance - she learnt all about which bands were Ana’s favorite and when they were on tour. The difficult part was finding a pair of tickets for tour dates that coincided with the busy academic schedule of both girls. Finally, affording the tickets proved to be a gigantic strain on a college girl’s meager budget - Estela promised herself that she would find a job as soon as the concert was over.
It was all worthwhile when she saw the look in Ana’s eyes as she shared the tickets with her roommate.



Ana didn’t know how she had managed to refrain from kissing Estela then and there. They were sharing a seat on a bus which was steadily driving Ana and the girl of her dreams towards a concert that she had wanted to attend for nearly her entire life. The timing was wrong, the place was wrong, and she had no idea what to say - but, suddenly, Ana couldn’t take it anymore.
“The most difficult decision is to act,” she whispered to herself - an attempt to draw up her courage - “and the rest is merely tenacity.”
“The fears are paper tigers,” she continued, “and you can do anything that you decide to do.”
“You can act to change and control your life,” Estela suddenly added, softly, “and the process - the procedure - is its own reward.”
“Amelia Earhart”. Both girls grinned at each other.
Ana smiled at Estela, holding her tender gaze.
Ana took a deep breath. “Estela, I know that we’re roommates - and you’re super important to me! And I really don’t want to ruin our friendship, but will you please go out with me - like, on a date?”
Estela couldn’t stop a wide grin from spreading across her face. Without breaking eye contact, she moved her hand to find Ana’s. “Ana,” she said, “ I would love that.”
submitted by disposable_account56 to u/disposable_account56 [link] [comments]


2020.06.06 17:02 BrazilianSigma "The problem is that IT users think that all women are angels. Apparently women are never at fault for their deeds, yet they think that every guy who complain about not getting a date as an 'incel' " says the fishbowl lifeguard

submitted by BrazilianSigma to IncelTear [link] [comments]


2020.05.11 22:35 cat__farts My gf is accusing me of treating her and her family badly, being controlling, and forcing how I feel about fish care onto her

Kind if a "aita" post but I didnt know if it would go along with the rules well enough. I've always had a rude sense of humor, I always try to make it clear that I'm joking but sometimes it doesn't come across that way, she had mentioned before she doesnt like the way I sometimes talk to her or her pets/family so I tried to tone it way down. I've dated her for close to a year and been very close with her and her family for around 5, I hold a lot of respect for everyone there. I still joked but less often and not quite as hurtful but that's just who I am, my sense of humor hasn't changed in all the years I've known them and she never had an issue with it until recently, and it's hard to suddenly change the way you act. Sorry this story sounds a mess but I want to lay out the situation clearly I love to buy things for her and her family, money isn't a big deal to me, I'd rather buy some stupid item and see my gf's face light up than save it for something for myself. I recently helped her paint her room, I spent a lot of money getting the right kind of brushes and a tarp for the floor and such, and we were discussing that we should get a fish after the room was done. I've always been very passionate about fish keeping and pets in general so when she told me about her desire for a fish i was so excited! I was going to let her choose whatever she wanted and buy it for her, she wanted a betta tank, (which can be quite controversial) shes always kept past bettas in a fishbowl and they never lived longer than 2 years. When I got my betta fish earlier this year I did a lot of research on how to care for it, and what I found was that they absolutely need a tank big enough to swim freely, and a tank heater. We had a plan of once this covid lockdown was finished we'd go together to pick out a big enough tank and a heater etc. The other day, she sent me a photo of a betta in a fishbowl, I was upset but just said I wanted to upgrade it eventually or at least get a heater for it. She got upset at me saying that every other betta she had was perfectly fine and happy and that this would be fine, while I believed her I still wanted to get a water heater so she could keep him in her room (she always has a fan in the window even in winter, much too cold for a fish) It then became an argument about how I act like I know so much and that I'm controlling and she doesnt want my handouts for a tank, and that she wants a "break" from me. When I questioned this break she said either a few weeks or forever she doesnt know, its been hanging on my mind and destroying my mental health. Am I at fault? Did I go too far? How should I handle this? Right now were going on as if it's a breakup and I'm collecting my stuff from her house. I dont want to lose her but it's hard to feel like it's worth trying to mend...
I'm sorry about such a long post, i hope some of you will read it to give me feedback, and if you have made it this far, thanks.
submitted by cat__farts to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.05.05 14:45 Icetorn [Online][Other] [SW5E][GMT] Star Wars: Shadows and Masks

Hi,
System: Star Wars 5e https://sw5e.com/ , Roll20 for maps and characters, Discord for voice. Camera optional.
Time and Date: Every Sunday, 17:00-20:00 GMT.
Plot and Setting: Game will take place during the Old Republic era, year 2 ATC (SWTOR timeline) and the plot, tone and general setting will be discussed and voted on after we've selected 7.
Number of PCs: 10
My Star Wars group and I have been trying to hold on to 5-6 regular players for a few months now and have had limited success. There's currently 4 of us and we're looking to fill in the group back up to 11 so that even if people drop out in the future we can still retain the magical 5-6. So we'll pluck 25 people out from the internet and run them through a survey and pick out 7 to join in our game and soldier through the chaos of running 10 players for a few weeks until it normalizes down to 5-6.
To apply for our game please join our discord and follow Mee6's instructions.
discord.gg/vJRYpf9
If you have any questions post them below or send me a message or indeed ask in Discord. My only request is to not apply if you're not willing to commit 3 hours of your time every Sunday, within reason, and if you're uncertain about your schedule, or if you live in a fishbowl on an airport runway with a marching band practicing as your roommates.
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2020.04.25 08:04 itakemyfleshraw Strange things happen in the Ohio Valley

I grew up near the Ohio-West Virginia line. A 20 to 30 minute drive from my house out in the trees and you would hit Wheeling. It was a fishbowl of strange people and even stranger things.
I lived in the Ohio Valley, out in the farm country and the trees, and I’ve got some stories to tell.
While you lived there, you didn’t notice it much. It wasn’t until you took trips to the shopping centers outside of the Valley or to Wheeling and back that you really saw the difference. People would drive different the very second you entered the Valley, the demeanor and even the way the cars moved just became slightly more staggered. Tailgating was a perfected hobby for most.
There was a feel to it, too. If you take someone who hasn’t been to the Valley and ask then when they feel something weird as you drive in, they’ll tell you exactly where the line is. Every single time.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst place to be. It’s beautiful there, though I haven’t been in years so I’m sure much has changed. I loved where I grew up, I have fond memories of the place, but I also have plenty of bad ones.
Plenty of strange ones too.
Here’s the thing about the valley. If you check a map or look online, it’ll tell you that the Ohio valley is a huge area that spans multiple states. Maybe it is, that’s the literal definition of the Ohio valley that follows the Ohio river.
However, if you mention the valley to anyone who lived where I did, they’ll know what you mean. They’ll know it’s a contained area of a few small towns and certain areas of that county. The Valley I talk about is a being, it’s a place that is within the Ohio Valley and is only known as the valley.
Don’t go there if you don’t have to, don’t look for the line to see if you can feel the strange aura. Things have changed in the past years and all you’ll be doing is pestering people just trying to live their day to day.
I moved out of the Valley in 2010 and things were changing then. More hotels for people driving through, a shift in the air as jobs came in even as many jobs were gone.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be back. The valley has a pull, I miss it even if I don’t know why and sometimes I think of visiting even if I have nothing to see there at all. Going back may mean never leaving again and I am not brave enough to test it.
I’m not sure where to start, not sure which story to tell, so I think I’ll start with a small one. Something just to tell you how these things just happened and no one seemed to notice.
They just seemed to find it normal. Or something to be ignored, something to be forgotten.
I was born in 1992 and I lived in the Valley until I was 18. I visited it on and off, only living just outside of it for another two years before I finally left Ohio at 20. I never thought about it all, never really noticed the weirdness of everything until I fully left.
Something happens to your brain in the fishbowl and I’m not sure how it hasn’t stayed with me since I left. I don’t know if these memories are reality, a nightmare, or a mix of both so take what I say as you will.
However, I will try to find a way to discover if any proof lingers around me to show you, and me, what kind of things reside there.
Enough rambling about the place, I need to move forward but it’s hard. It’s like it knows I’m telling you a secret.
Forgive my long introduction and let me tell you about the river.
The Ohio River was a hot mess. When you drove by it, you always wanted your windows up. If not, you’d smell a fine mixture of dead fish and trash.
Is it that way all along it? Maybe not but our fine little piece of it was a bad spot.
You would occasionally see brave souls out on a boat, wandering the waters, but only ever in the daylight. At night, the water was calm and untouched, almost beautiful even as it turned your stomach.
No one swam in it. In my 18 years in the valley, I never went to the river bank and I never saw someone in the water. The smell kept me away but the fear made it certain I stayed away, something old and primal in me said to never go to the river's edge.
It was such a known fact that no one swam in the water that it became a dare at parties or in pissing contests.
Someone would get frustrated, or drunk, and would dare the other person to go to the bank and stick their legs in. Then it would go back and forth. If I do then your dare will be to go knee deep, then you go waist deep, then you dunk your head, then you swim out ten feet.
On and on until someone would break and agree. They’d start to walk to the cars to go to the river or to someone who could drive but then, somewhere along the way, everyone would drop it.
The dare forgotten, the sudden trip to the river never spoken of again. At least until the next time the dares happened.
I never saw anyone take the dare for real but I also didn’t go to too many parties or go out with anyone other than my small group of friends.
One monday, however, changed the dare game.
When I arrived at school that day, midway through my junior year, one of my friends grabbed my shoulder and nervously told me that someone took the dare that weekend.
I can’t explain the raw fear that hit me when I heard that, the dread that seemed to infuse into my very bones. She seemed to share the feeling, biting her lip so hard I saw droplets of blood forming.
“Who?” I remember asking in a voice that shook so badly I clenched my jaw to try to keep it at bay.
“Brandon.”
Now Brandon isn’t his real name but he was a sort of friend of ours. My small group was the kind that travels, we were the art kids who all knew everyone in some fashion even though we kept to ourselves all day.
That just kind of happens when your class contains the same people from kindergarten to senior year.
Brandon was popular, a football player, but he was nice enough. He didn’t bully anyone, didn’t spread any rumors, and he would talk to anybody. He was also the kind to never say no to a dare.
It was just pure luck that he hadn’t been dared before then.
I remember nodding and taking her hand to calm her as we went to find our other friends. My eyes constantly scanned the incoming crowd of students for Brandon, or anyone who was close to him really.
Every single student was on high alert that day, a thick tension invading the halls as we all realized that Brandon wasn’t at school.
The story of that Saturday was all anyone talked about though.
I’ll relay it the best that I can.
A birthday party was the stage. Someone had faked an ID so they had plenty of beer and no adults to stop the disaster.
A group of about twenty were there and the dares started deep into the night. Brandon was drunk, more so than most there, and when the first dare hit, he accepted. They tried to tease about it, tried to push him to just say the dare back, but he simply walked to his car.
Two went with him, wanting to see if he really would do it. Sarah, his girlfriend, and Charlie, his best friend. They were at school that Monday but they seemed like they wished to be anywhere else.
Apparently, Brandon drove strangely well for someone so drunk and they made it to the river so fast that Sarah said she couldn’t remember the ride. Sarah doesn’t drink. Or, well, she didn’t.
This is all told to me by Sarah as I didn’t speak to Charlie at that time, ever since he stalked me in seventh grade. I can tell that story at a later date if you would like.
Sarah said they parked and she remembered being filled with such an immense fear that she almost bit through her lip as she gnawed on it nervously. They left the car and walked to the river bank, as low as they could force themselves.
She told me that she stayed back as far as she could but both Charlie and Brandon got closer. As soon as they got close, Sarah saw them relax. Almost like there was an aura near the water that just soothed their fear.
They walked out onto a small pier, one that tended to stay empty but still stood for any small boats that may need to dock on the banks.
Then Charlie started to dare Brandon even more. He said that he bet Brandon wouldn’t go in and dunk his head. Brandon apparently fired back that he’d take the bet but Charlie owed him money when he came back.
Three things happened at once. Sarah screamed for him to stop, Charlie pushed Brandon’s shoulder, and Brandon sunk deep into the water as soon as he touched it.
They waited, for several long minutes.
Sarah remembered crying, sobbing as she screamed curses at Charlie who just seemed frozen on the pier. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she whispered that he was smiling as he stared down at the area Brandon disappeared.
It took awhile but she managed to force her legs to work and she walked back to the car. As she fumbled with her phone to call someone for help, she heard laughter. Looking up through the window, she saw Brandon swimming back to shore and Charlie laughing loudly. She said it sounded triumphant, like Charlie had won the bet instead of lost it.
They drove back to find the rest of the party had dispersed when they left but Sarah said she was glad for it. She shook as she said she didn’t recognize her boyfriend, that Brandon wasn’t really Brandon.
I thought it was silly. That we all felt such fear around a legend instead of truth. The boys had just pulled a prank on Sarah that went bad for her.
But then I saw him.
Brandon was different. His hair was blonde instead of brown. Eyes a murky shade of green instead of blue. He was taller, by several inches, and he spoke and moved as if he were relearning everything.
I remember trying to talk to him the next day when the whispers of his return reached me. We had the same math class so I just decided to ask about the weekend then.
It was strange and probably a little warped in my head but this is how it went.
“Hey, Brandon! How come you skipped yesterday? Everyone was worried after we heard about the dare.”
“Oh. Yes. I’m fine. Hello. I was unwell.”
“Uh, right. So how was the river? As gross as we all think? Or was it okay?”
“Beautiful. River is wonderful. Everyone should go. Touch the water. Feel it. Hear it.”
“Hear what? It’s just water.”
He stared at me, for several silent moments before he smiled. It was strained, awkward, and looked like a smile someone would give if they didn’t really know how.
“You should see. I can take you.”
“Oh. No, that’s alright, Brandon. I don’t think I want to go to the banks.”
His face went blank and he turned away.
I never spoke to Brandon again. A month after this he stopped showing up to school and no one could find him. When Sarah went to his house to try to see what was happening, no one was home and the place seemed empty.
Not the worst story, I’m sure, but I’ll never forget the dead look in his eyes. The strange way he moved and spoke. How intensely he changed.
I’ll never forget the way he got frustrated when no one would agree to go to the river with him. How he would seem to forget who you were entirely once you denied his offer of going to the banks.
I don’t think I can ever erase the downfall of Sarah from my mind. The nervous breakdown that followed that birthday dare was intense and took her down a dark path. She always claimed Brandon wasn’t her boyfriend anymore, that he was a different person entirely, but no one listened.
The scariest thing is that only a few seemed to notice the changes and then those few seemed to forget it all quickly. Even now, I remember with stark horror how I was part of the group giving Sarah pitying looks as if she’d been the one to change. As if she was crazy for claiming that Brandon changed.
I forgot about this. Forgot the dare, forgot the fear and the change, forgot how I supported Sarah for a week before I suddenly seemed to completely change my tune. It wasn’t until I lived outside of the valley for a few years that I remembered it all.
I don’t know what happens there, I don’t think I ever really want to find out, but I have other tales to tell if you’d like to hear about them. I was stalked by Charlie, there were the creatures that lived deep in the woods in the Valley, and many other small things that all build up into a place that shouldn’t be.
I’ll try to remember all that I can.
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2020.04.08 23:55 Str0ngerBecause0fIt I [M, 21] convinced myself that my rape was punishment for leaving/being gay

I wrote out my story for the first time on another subreddit. The full story is over there i guess.
Talking about this is probably the hardest thing I've done.
It's basically the exact story you'd expect from every queer child in this religion. Born a member. I moved out for college (no mission) and finally addressed the fact that I was gay. I was far too scared/ashamed to tell a soul. Without anyone to ask questions to, I fell into some of the more toxic parts of the online gay community (especially for an 18-year-old), thinking that it was the norm.
About two years ago now, I decide to go to a movie with a man I met off a dating app. It was fine I guess, and he offered me a ride home.
Yeah. He didn't take me home. Instead, he made me do some things that I don't think I'll ever get out of my head.
Turns out that the stereotypical 'turn it off like a light switch' superpower that we've learned in our youth applies quite effectively to blocking out naughty noo-noo thoughts AND deflecting your confrontation of some serious fucking trauma. Convenient!
I'm working on trying to accept this as some part of my journey or whatever, but I can't help but be a little pissed. I spent my best two years hardly awake at all. TWO YEARS of my life just miserable, angry, and suicidal. Coping through any dopamine I could get my hands on. (including an absolutely horrendous sense of humor)
Isn't the point of this whole religion thingy to give children the answers they need to grow and thrive in this shitty world? Well, turns out, if you don't give children the answers they need, they'll go find the answers themselves. Some of them, like me, will find the wrong ones and get really hurt.
I was comfortably atheist by the time the incident happened. I was literally gearing myself up to come out as gay to friends/family. Instead, I pushed myself back into the closet because I convinced myself that my rape was punishment for me leaving the church and being gay. We're on earth to go through trials of our faith, and this was just my hardest test yet.
I felt trapped in a fishbowl, with my ancestor angels watching sourly from spirit paradise. "Oh dear". They'd say. "There goes another one. Another child of god fallen from grace. What a shame."
I discounted my suffering because I saw other (namely, female) victims suffering more. I was a guy, after all. Where was an isolated, depressed, and insecure kid from Mormonville, Idaho supposed to go after this? Who was he supposed to tell?
I've spent the entirety of college so far pushing people away and punishing myself for it. I've tried to date, but I can't connect with anyone. I keep spewing the same lame excuses to the friends who care enough to ask.
But I'm getting help. I've lied to my therapist (and myself) long enough.
I've survived so much shit, but I'm stronger because of it.
"It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn't have to be that way." -Cuddlywhiskers
submitted by Str0ngerBecause0fIt to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.04.04 22:49 PerilousPlatypus [OC][UWDFF Alcubierre] Part 38

Beginning Previous
"The status link from the float gives us enough puzzle pieces to make out the whole, but there are still gaps. We can discern what is wrong, and have some potential solutions, but they will require the assistance of the engineering team and the approval of the ship's captain." Bailey said, her shoulders tense as she finished. Idara was looking past her, to where Jack sat on a chair against the wall. He was helpfully glowering back at the captain and had thus far refused to comment.
Idara nodded, and spoke, eyes still on Jack. "Thank you, Chief Greaves." Jack did not respond to the title being applied to Bailey beyond continuing to glare. "Unfortunately, I have received orders from United World Defense Force requiring that we halt further communication and interaction with the Zix vessel."
Bailey frowned. "The UWDF? What authority do they have, this is a scientific vessel under the purview of the--"
Jack snorted.
"Do you have any input, Jack? So far you've been content to play the sullen child in the company of adults," Idara asked, her face placid and tone calm.
Jack leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands steepling in front of him. "You seem constitutionally incapable of doing the right thing Captain Adeyemi. You're weak and you're afraid."
"Powerful contribution, Jack. I can see why you're one of our most trusted problem-solvers," Idara replied.
Jack flushed now, a vein throbbing in his temple. "Every decision you've made has been the wrong one, I don't see the point--"
"Jack!" Bailey cut in, turning to the side and looking back at him, "You're the one who said we needed her. You're the one who isn't helping right now. You two can roll around in a mud pit after this, but you said we had less than a day to get to a solution and right now I don't see you moving us toward that goal."
The older man paused, mouth ajar. He slowly closed it, took a deep breath and nodded to Bailey. "We need to upgrade our connection to the float. Xy created a data link, which is how we obtained the schematics and diagnostic information, but we need to find a means of supplying their ship with power."
"I have already said I received orders--" Idara began.
"Screw them. Seriously, Idara, screw those orders and screw you if you follow them. I spent half my life in the U-Dub-Dee. I know how they work. This isn't even about Kai. This is about who has the information to make the best decisions. Who is in the best position to enact those decisions."
Idara folded her hands on the conference table, "And that's us." It was a statement rather than a question.
"Yes," Jack confirmed, "that's us."
"The orders largely place us on lockdown. No communications out. Minimal crew at stations. No public gatherings. We are simply to stay put and prepare for our arrival and replacement. Security Chief Rodriguez has been tasked with 'assisting' me in this matter. The data-link has been missed since it does not operate on standard comms, which Rodriguez has locked down. He may figure it out sooner or later. He's not dumb."
Jack nodded, "We'll need to be extra careful then. I don't know Rodriguez. He's new. I assume they put him here as a check on Kai. They always want an insurance policy."
"Why would they need a check on Kai?" Bailey asked.
"Because he does what he thinks is right, which historically hasn't have a perfect overlap with what his commanding officers thought was right." A smile appeared, "He's the best they got and they know it, but it doesn't mean they trust him."
"So, we will need to establish a power linkage and then make the activity seem benign," Idara replied.
"Yes."
Idara leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling of the conference room. "We cover it up with a full ship review. The stresses of extra-solar physics have placed tremendous stress upon our systems, such as the breaking of the Alcubierre drive, and we should use the intervening two days to prepare a full review to hand off to fleet."
"Do you think that will work? Creating the power coupling is definitely outside a typical review process," Bailey replied.
"I'm not sure, but if the alternative is letting the Zix die, I'm not sure it matters to me. We could try and convince them of the need, but the initial communications with the UWD explained the Zix vessel was in a dire position and it clearly did not have an impact."
"Who issued the orders? From the U-Dub-Dee?" Jack asked.
"Fleet Admiral Joan Orléans," Idara replied.
Jack's face paled. He swallowed a few times, a new lump in his throat. "And she is coming here?"
Idara nodded, "To oversee the transfer of crew. She's aboard the Dreadcarrier Oppenheimer. Do you know her?"
There was a pause, and a thin sheen of sweat populated Jack's brow. "Yes. I know the Admiral."
"And?"
"She's adamantine steel, from top to toes." He gathered his thoughts, trying to find the right words. "She's a fighter. Her heart is in the right place, but the rest of her..."
Bailey examined Jack, trying to piece together what he was feeling. He seemed on part out-of-sorts, one part scared and one part awed. "Jack, what are you trying to say?"
"Back in the Automics." Jack exhaled deeply. "I was the brain. I figured out how to beat them." There seemed to be no joy in this statement. No bravado or desire to take credit. Just a simple statement of fact.
Idara knew something of this, or at least knew Jack had been one of the drivers, though the particulars remained classified. There were a lot of people involved in the fight against the Automics, and Jack was one of the one who were whispered about more than most.
"And Kai? Kai was the fist. He was the one they chose to deploy."
"So what was Orléans?" Bailey asked.
Jack turned to look at Bailey, his face still pale and drawn. "Joan was the will. Joan was the one that took my idea and Kai's ability to execute and created the plan. She was the one who decided saving part of a planet was better than losing a whole one."
"You mean..." Bailey drifted off.
"Yes. She saved 3.8 billion lives." Another deep exhale. "It just cost her 12 billion."
Idara blinked, "They said that was the Automics. That they were--"
"I know what they said," Jack whispered, "and I also know what we did."
The three were silent.
"Maybe there was a better way." Jack continued, his voice hushed. "I tried to find it, but we were running out of time. Their energy mesh was becoming too durable. Eventually even a Griggs pulse would be ineffective."
Bailey blanched. "You named it after yourself?"
"No. That was just what it was called." He shrugged, "I was a scientist. I presented my findings. They took those findings and made a plan." His shoulders slumped down. "And they sent Kai out to make it work."
Bailey and Idara stared at Jack, but he didn't notice. His attention was far off, reliving a past he had tried to forget.
"Joan recognized the stakes. She grasped the science better than most of the people in command. She knew we'd have a small window before they adapted. EMPs were already doing us more harm than good. We needed something that hurt them more than it hurt us. I found it." A tear pooled in the corner of Jack's eye and slowly made its way down his cheek. "Maybe we would have found something better. But how could I know? We couldn't wait, we were losing too fast."
Idara stood and walked around the conference table. She took a seat beside Jack and placed an arm around his shoulders. He flinched at first and then leaned into her, his body trembling from suppressed sobs. "Jack." She did not offer words of encouragement, because she could not figure out which words to say.
Jack shrugged off Idara's arm and looked between Bailey and Idara. "Don't you see? That's why I'm here. That's why Kai brought me. He told me that it could mean something. That what we did put humanity on a path to be more than what it was. We could push humanity forward." He placed a hand on the conference table, rubbing along the cool steel with an almost loving caress. "You made it possible, Idara. You built the drive. I was so excited. To be here. To be a part. To do something good. And I was jealous. Of you. Jealous that you could build something that created, while I--"
"I understand, Jack." Idara's mind swirled as the connections between disparate facts were made. The intensity of the relationship between Jack and Kai made sense. Jack's willingness to take risks, like following alien vessels through wormholes, in hopes of pushing humanity forward. Jack was a man in search of redemption, and he hoped to find it among the stars. She needed to offer him that, even if it cost her. "You can still do something. We can do something."
"Yes, moping does not further our goals." Bailey chimed in, recognizing almost immediately that she had failed in the role of gushy cheerleader. At some point, her mandated the leadership sensitivity training would pay dividends, but clearly today was not that day.
Jack did not appear to be offended. "I'm not sure it matters. We do not have much time, either to fix the float or before Joan arrives," Jack said.
"One thing at a time Jack. Fixing the float increases our options. We can determine the best course of action with the UWDF once we know what those options are," Idara said.
"All right." Jack straightened and rubbed a palm against each cheek, smearing away the accumulated wetness. "Operation Fishbowl is a go."
---------
The flows shifted. It was an almost imperceptible change, and one Xy might have missed were it not for the fact that it could do very little other than monitor the flows. Xy had expended much of its strength in enabling the data linkage and opening an access port for the Humans. It now floated amidst the stagnancy, awaiting whatever the Human's efforts might produce or its eventual demise. Given Human inadequacies to date, Xy was fairly certain demise was the more likely outcome.
But the shift spoke otherwise. A new current carried with it new possibilities. This flow was not tied to the crucial systems Xy required to restore function to the float, but it did indicate forward progress the Humans' efforts. Despite Xy's now firmly established dislike of Firsts, it was willing to embrace the novelty of Human capability. Perhaps this First cascade would result in something better than being consumed by its partner, ostracized from its species and stranded in the galactic hinterland. At this point, Xy had very little to lose.
The emotion-thread with Zyy had faded once more. Probing by Xy's cilia still indicated continued vitality,/ciliated_epithelial_cells-5a7cb8926edd650036eb92da.jpg) but the loss of connection boded poorly for Zyy's prospects. The Zix were highly durable so long as they remained within their environments, but currents of substantially greater magnitude would be required before it would be possible to attempt to restore Zyy. Even if those currents were restored, additional modifications would be required to allow Xy to manage them effectively. Xy had considered some options in this regard, having little else to do, but each required a baseline functionality that was not currently available.
A second current shifted, arising from a different direction in the tank. This flow was more forceful, tied to a stronger float-cilia than the first had been. There did not seem to be a connection between the first shift and the second shift. Neither flow connected to a fundamental function of the float. While the shift was an encouraging development, it did not further the goal of restoration.
Xy considered this. All indications were that Humans operated from a decidedly Right-minded framework. Even with its expanded frame of view following its merge with Zyy, Xy still associated Right-mindedness with drastic, random decisions designed to maximize chaos and self-destruction. As a result, the Humans were more likely than not to continue their efforts by randomly interacting with flows in hopes of generating a positive result.
This was not a preferred course of action. The flows were precise. Without guidance, the Humans would likely only succeed in torturing Xy before they killed the float's occupants. Xy's hopes withered. It had been foolish to hope that a Human First Cascade would entail anything other than additional chaos.
But there was a difference between the events of before and what occurred now. The Right-mindedness of the Humans had been interacting with the Right-mindedness of Zyy. Little could be more prone to disaster than Right^2. Xy's cilia curled at the prospect and, had it any excess liquid, it would have surely expelled it.
Thankfully, the present circumstances were different. The Humans would be a disaster if left attended. Therefore they must be attended by a Left.
A Right and a Left. Just as it was meant to be.
Xy carefully extricated itself from Zyy. Clinging to one another would do little for the time being. Unencumbered by its partner, Xy struggled toward the edge of the float, its few stores of energy rapidly diminishing. Travel grew more difficult as Xy approached the hull, the currents swirling faster, trying to pull Xy back toward the center. There was little reason for a Zix to approach the hull, where information density was less and access to the flows was more difficult.
But the Humans required direction, and Xy could see no other means of communicating the nuances to them via words. Explaining the layout of the float-cilia, their function, and how they interacted with one another was simply too complex an interaction. The Humans needed something simple. Something even they could grasp.
With a final push, Xy reached the edge. It flung out a cilia, intertwining it with a large float-cilia. Unlike the cilia of a fellow Zix, the float-cilia could not establish thought-threads or emotion-threads. They could, however, receive a pulse of energy. Xy pushed some of its vitality into the float-cilia. Pulsing it rapidly.
Over here, Humans.
Over here.
MOAR at PerilousPlatypus
submitted by PerilousPlatypus to HFY [link] [comments]


2020.04.04 22:06 PerilousPlatypus [Serial][UWDFF Alcubierre] Part 38

Beginning Previous
"The status link from the float gives us enough puzzle pieces to make out the whole, but there are still gaps. We can discern what is wrong, and have some potential solutions, but they will require the assistance of the engineering team and the approval of the ship's captain." Bailey said, her shoulders tense as she finished. Idara was looking past her, to where Jack sat on a chair against the wall. He was helpfully glowering back at the captain and had thus far refused to comment.
Idara nodded, and spoke, eyes still on Jack. "Thank you, Chief Greaves." Jack did not respond to the title being applied to Bailey beyond continuing to glare. "Unfortunately, I have received orders from United World Defense Force requiring that we halt further communication and interaction with the Zix vessel."
Bailey frowned. "The UWDF? What authority do they have, this is a scientific vessel under the purview of the--"
Jack snorted.
"Do you have any input, Jack? So far you've been content to play the sullen child in the company of adults," Idara asked, her face placid and tone calm.
Jack leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands steepling in front of him. "You seem constitutionally incapable of doing the right thing Captain Adeyemi. You're weak and you're afraid."
"Powerful contribution, Jack. I can see why you're one of our most trusted problem-solvers," Idara replied.
Jack flushed now, a vein throbbing in his temple. "Every decision you've made has been the wrong one, I don't see the point--"
"Jack!" Bailey cut in, turning to the side and looking back at him, "You're the one who said we needed her. You're the one who isn't helping right now. You two can roll around in a mud pit after this, but you said we had less than a day to get to a solution and right now I don't see you moving us toward that goal."
The older man paused, mouth ajar. He slowly closed it, took a deep breath and nodded to Bailey. "We need to upgrade our connection to the float. Xy created a data link, which is how we obtained the schematics and diagnostic information, but we need to find a means of supplying their ship with power."
"I have already said I received orders--" Idara began.
"Screw them. Seriously, Idara, screw those orders and screw you if you follow them. I spent half my life in the U-Dub-Dee. I know how they work. This isn't even about Kai. This is about who has the information to make the best decisions. Who is in the best position to enact those decisions."
Idara folded her hands on the conference table, "And that's us." It was a statement rather than a question.
"Yes," Jack confirmed, "that's us."
"The orders largely place us on lockdown. No communications out. Minimal crew at stations. No public gatherings. We are simply to stay put and prepare for our arrival and replacement. Security Chief Rodriguez has been tasked with 'assisting' me in this matter. The data-link has been missed since it does not operate on standard comms, which Rodriguez has locked down. He may figure it out sooner or later. He's not dumb."
Jack nodded, "We'll need to be extra careful then. I don't know Rodriguez. He's new. I assume they put him here as a check on Kai. They always want an insurance policy."
"Why would they need a check on Kai?" Bailey asked.
"Because he does what he thinks is right, which historically hasn't had a perfect overlap with what his commanding officers thought was right." A sardonic grin appeared, "He's the best they got and they know it, but it doesn't mean they trust him."
"So, we will need to establish a power linkage and then make the activity seem benign," Idara replied.
"Yes."
Idara leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling of the conference room. "We cover it up with a full ship review. The stresses of extra-solar physics have placed tremendous stress upon our systems, such as the breaking of the Alcubierre drive, and we should use the intervening two days to prepare a full review to hand off to fleet."
"Do you think that will work? Creating the power coupling is definitely outside a typical review process," Bailey replied.
"I'm not sure, but if the alternative is letting the Zix die, I'm not sure it matters to me. We could try and convince them of the need, but the initial communications with the UWD explained the Zix vessel was in a dire position and it clearly did not have an impact."
"Who issued the orders? From the U-Dub-Dee?" Jack asked.
"Fleet Admiral Joan Orléans," Idara replied.
Jack's face paled. He swallowed a few times, a new lump in his throat. "And she is coming here?"
Idara nodded, "To oversee the transfer of crew. She's aboard the Dreadcarrier Oppenheimer. Do you know her?"
There was a pause, and a thin sheen of sweat populated Jack's brow. "Yes. I know the Admiral."
"And?"
"She's adamantine steel, from top to toes." He gathered his thoughts, trying to find the right words. "She's a fighter. Her heart is in the right place, but the rest of her..."
Bailey examined Jack, trying to piece together what he was feeling. He seemed on part out-of-sorts, one part scared and one part awed. "Jack, what are you trying to say?"
"Back in the Automics." Jack exhaled deeply. "I was the brain. I figured out how to beat them." There seemed to be no joy in this statement. No bravado or desire to take credit. Just a simple recitation of fact.
Idara knew something of this, or at least knew Jack had been one of the drivers, though the particulars remained classified. There were a lot of people involved in the fight against the Automics, and Jack was one of the ones who were whispered about more than most.
"And Kai? Kai was the fist. He was the one they chose to deploy."
"So what was Orléans?" Bailey asked.
Jack turned to look at Bailey, his face still pale and drawn. "Joan was the will. She took my idea and Kai's ability to execute and created the plan no one else was willing to. She was the one who decided saving part of a planet was better than losing a whole one."
"You mean..." Bailey drifted off.
"Yes. She saved 3.8 billion lives." Another deep exhale. "It just cost her 12 billion."
Idara blinked, "They said that was the Automics. That they were--"
"I know what they said," Jack whispered, "and I also know what we did."
The three were silent.
"Maybe there was a better way." Jack continued, his voice hushed. "I tried to find it, but we were running out of time. Their energy mesh was becoming too durable. Eventually even a Griggs pulse would be ineffective."
Bailey blanched. "You named it after yourself?"
"No. That was just what it was called." He shrugged, "I was a scientist. I presented my findings. They took those findings used them." His shoulders slumped down. "Kai was the one they knew could get the job done."
Bailey and Idara stared at Jack, but he didn't notice. His attention was far off, reliving a past he had tried to forget.
"Joan recognized the stakes. She grasped the science better than most of the people in command. She knew we'd have a small window before they adapted. EMPs were already doing us more harm than good. We needed something that hurt them more than it hurt us. I found it." A tear pooled in the corner of Jack's eye and slowly made its way down his cheek. "I wanted to find another solution. Another way. We couldn't wait, we were losing too fast."
Idara stood and walked around the conference table. She took a seat beside Jack and placed an arm around his shoulders. He flinched at first and then leaned into her, his body trembling from suppressed sobs. "Jack." She did not offer words of encouragement, because she could not figure out which words to say.
Jack shrugged off Idara's arm and looked between Bailey and Idara. "Don't you see? That's why I'm here. That's why Kai brought me. He told me that it could mean something. That what we did put humanity on a path to be more than what it was. We could push humanity forward." He placed a hand on the conference table, rubbing along the cool steel with an almost loving caress. "You made it possible, Idara. You built the drive. I was so excited. To be here. To be a part. To do something good. And I was jealous. Of you. Jealous that you could build something that created, while I--"
"I understand, Jack." Idara's mind swirled as the connections between disparate facts were made. The intensity of the relationship between Jack and Kai made sense. Jack's willingness to take risks, like following alien vessels through wormholes, in hopes of pushing humanity forward. Jack was a man in search of redemption, and he hoped to find it among the stars. She could offer him that, even if it might cost her. "You can still do something. We can do something."
"Yes, moping does not further our goals." Bailey added, recognizing almost immediately that she had failed in the role of gushy cheerleader. At some point, her mandated the leadership sensitivity training would pay dividends, but clearly today was not that day.
Jack did not appear to be offended. "I'm not sure it matters. We do not have much time, either to fix the float or before Joan arrives," Jack said.
"One thing at a time Jack. Fixing the float increases our options. We can determine the best course of action with the UWD once we know what those options are," Idara said.
"All right." Jack straightened and rubbed a palm against each cheek, smearing away the accumulated wetness. "Operation Fishbowl is a go."
---------
The flows shifted. It was an almost imperceptible change, and one Xy might have missed were it not for the fact that it could do very little other than monitor the flows. Xy had expended much of its strength in enabling the data linkage and opening an access port for the Humans. It now floated amidst the stagnancy, awaiting whatever the Human's efforts might produce or its eventual demise. Given Human inadequacies to date, Xy was fairly certain demise was the more likely outcome.
But the shift spoke otherwise. A new current carried with it new possibilities. This flow was not tied to the crucial systems Xy required to restore function to the float, but it did indicate forward progress the Humans' efforts. Despite Xy's now firmly established dislike of Firsts, it was willing to embrace the novelty of Human capability. Perhaps this First cascade would result in something better than being consumed by its partner, ostracized from its species and stranded in the galactic hinterland. At this point, Xy had very little to lose.
The emotion-thread with Zyy had faded once more. Probing by Xy's cilia still indicated continued vitality, but the loss of connection bode poorly for Zyy's prospects. The Zix were reasonably durable so long as they remained within their environments, but reversing Zyy's decline would require access to currents of substantially greater magnitude. Even if those currents were restored, additional modifications would be required to allow Xy to manage them effectively. Xy had considered some options in this regard, but each required a baseline functionality that was not currently available. Improvement in the situation would require an external force.
A second current shifted, arising from a different direction in the tank. This flow was more forceful, tied to a stronger float-cilia than the first had been. There did not seem to be a relationship between the first shift and the second shift. Neither flow connected to a fundamental function of the float. While the shift was an encouraging development, it did not further the goal of restoration.
Xy considered this. All indications were that Humans operated from a decidedly Right-minded framework. Even with its expanded frame of view following its merge with Zyy, Xy still associated Right-mindedness with drastic, random decisions designed to maximize chaos and self-destruction. As a result, the Humans were more likely than not to continue their efforts by randomly interacting with flows in hopes of generating a positive result.
This was not a preferred course of action. The flows were precise. Without guidance, the Humans would likely only succeed in torturing Xy before they killed the float's occupants. Xy's hopes withered. It had been foolish to hope that a Human First Cascade would entail anything other than additional chaos.
But there was a difference between the events of before and what occurred now. The Right-mindedness of the Humans had been interacting with the Right-mindedness of Zyy. Little could be more prone to disaster than Right^2. Xy's cilia curled at the prospect and, had it any excess liquid, it would have surely expelled it.
Thankfully, the present circumstances were different. The Humans would be a disaster if left attended. Therefore they must be attended by a Left.
A Right and a Left. Just as it was meant to be.
Xy carefully extricated itself from Zyy. Clinging to one another would do little for the time being. Unencumbered by its partner, Xy struggled toward the edge of the float, its few stores of energy rapidly diminishing. Travel grew more difficult as Xy approached the hull, the currents swirling faster, trying to pull Xy back toward the center. There was little reason for a Zix to approach the hull, where information density was less and access to the flows was more difficult.
But the Humans required direction, and Xy could see no other means of communicating the nuances to them via words. Explaining the layout of the float-cilia, their function, and how they interacted with one another was simply too complex an interaction. The Humans needed something simple. Something even they could grasp.
With a final push, Xy reached the edge. It flung out a cilia, intertwining it with a large float-cilia. Unlike the cilia of a fellow Zix, the float-cilia could not establish thought-threads or emotion-threads. They could, however, receive a pulse of energy. Xy pushed some of its vitality into the float-cilia. Pulsing it rapidly.
Over here, Humans.
Over here.
Next
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I have Twitter now. I'm mostly going to use it to post prurient platypus pictures and engage in POLITE INTERNET CONVERSATION, which I heard is Twitter's strong suit.
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2020.03.30 08:20 faizrashid The Age of Big Data

GOOD with numbers? Fascinated by data? The sound you hear is opportunity knocking.
Mo Zhou was snapped up by I.B.M. last summer, as a freshly minted Yale M.B.A., to join the technology company’s fast-growing ranks of data consultants. They help businesses make sense of an explosion of data — Web traffic and social network comments, as well as software and sensors that monitor shipments, suppliers and customers — to guide decisions, trim costs and lift sales. “I’ve always had a love of numbers,” says Ms. Zhou, whose job as a data analyst suits her skills.
To exploit the data flood, America will need many more like her. A report last year by the McKinsey Global Institute, the research arm of the consulting firm, projected that the United States needs 140,000 to 190,000 more workers with “deep analytical” expertise and 1.5 million more data-literate managers, whether retrained or hired.
The impact of data abundance extends well beyond business. Justin Grimmer, for example, is one of the new breed of political scientists. A 28-year-old assistant professor at Stanford, he combined math with political science in his undergraduate and graduate studies, seeing “an opportunity because the discipline is becoming increasingly data-intensive.” His research involves the computer-automated analysis of blog postings, Congressional speeches and press releases, and news articles, looking for insights into how political ideas spread.
The story is similar in fields as varied as science and sports, advertising and public health — a drift toward data-driven discovery and decision-making. “It’s a revolution,” says Gary King, director of Harvard’s Institute for Quantitative Social Science. “We’re really just getting under way. But the march of quantification, made possible by enormous new sources of data, will sweep through academia, business and government. There is no area that is going to be untouched.”
Welcome to the Age of Big Data. The new megarich of Silicon Valley, first at Google and now Facebook, are masters at harnessing the data of the Web — online searches, posts and messages — with Internet advertising. At the World Economic Forum last month in Davos, Switzerland, Big Data was a marquee topic. A report by the forum, “Big Data, Big Impact,” declared data a new class of economic asset, like currency or gold.
Rick Smolan, creator of the “Day in the Life” photography series, is planning a project later this year, “The Human Face of Big Data,” documenting the collection and uses of data. Mr. Smolan is an enthusiast, saying that Big Data has the potential to be “humanity’s dashboard,” an intelligent tool that can help combat poverty, crime and pollution. Privacy advocates take a dim view, warning that Big Data is Big Brother, in corporate clothing.
What is Big Data? A meme and a marketing term, for sure, but also shorthand for advancing trends in technology that open the door to a new approach to understanding the world and making decisions. There is a lot more data, all the time, growing at 50 percent a year, or more than doubling every two years, estimates IDC, a technology research firm. It’s not just more streams of data, but entirely new ones. For example, there are now countless digital sensors worldwide in industrial equipment, automobiles, electrical meters and shipping crates. They can measure and communicate location, movement, vibration, temperature, humidity, even chemical changes in the air.
Link these communicating sensors to computing intelligence and you see the rise of what is called the Internet of Things or the Industrial Internet. Improved access to information is also fueling the Big Data trend. For example, government data — employment figures and other information — has been steadily migrating onto the Web. In 2009, Washington opened the data doors further by starting Data.gov, a Web site that makes all kinds of government data accessible to the public.
Data is not only becoming more available but also more understandable to computers. Most of the Big Data surge is data in the wild — unruly stuff like words, images and video on the Web and those streams of sensor data. It is called unstructured data and is not typically grist for traditional databases.
When the World Stops, Traveling in John Keats’s ‘Realms of Gold’
But the computer tools for gleaning knowledge and insights from the Internet era’s vast trove of unstructured data are fast gaining ground. At the forefront are the rapidly advancing techniques of artificial intelligence like natural-language processing, pattern recognition and machine learning.
Those artificial-intelligence technologies can be applied in many fields. For example, Google’s search and ad business and its experimental robot cars, which have navigated thousands of miles of California roads, both use a bundle of artificial-intelligence tricks. Both are daunting Big Data challenges, parsing vast quantities of data and making decisions instantaneously.
The wealth of new data, in turn, accelerates advances in computing — a virtuous circle of Big Data. Machine-learning algorithms, for example, learn on data, and the more data, the more the machines learn. Take Siri, the talking, question-answering application in iPhones, which Apple introduced last fall. Its origins go back to a Pentagon research project that was then spun off as a Silicon Valley start-up. Apple bought Siri in 2010, and kept feeding it more data. Now, with people supplying millions of questions, Siri is becoming an increasingly adept personal assistant, offering reminders, weather reports, restaurant suggestions and answers to an expanding universe of questions.
To grasp the potential impact of Big Data, look to the microscope, says Erik Brynjolfsson, an economist at Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Sloan School of Management. The microscope, invented four centuries ago, allowed people to see and measure things as never before — at the cellular level. It was a revolution in measurement.
Data measurement, Professor Brynjolfsson explains, is the modern equivalent of the microscope. Google searches, Facebook posts and Twitter messages, for example, make it possible to measure behavior and sentiment in fine detail and as it happens.
Image
Credit...Chad Hagen
In business, economics and other fields, Professor Brynjolfsson says, decisions will increasingly be based on data and analysis rather than on experience and intuition. “We can start being a lot more scientific,” he observes.
There is plenty of anecdotal evidence of the payoff from data-first thinking. The best-known is still “Moneyball,” the 2003 book by Michael Lewis, chronicling how the low-budget Oakland A’s massaged data and arcane baseball statistics to spot undervalued players. Heavy data analysis had become standard not only in baseball but also in other sports, including English soccer, well before last year’s movie version of “Moneyball,” starring Brad Pitt.
Retailers, like Walmart and Kohl’s, analyze sales, pricing and economic, demographic and weather data to tailor product selections at particular stores and determine the timing of price markdowns. Shipping companies, like U.P.S., mine data on truck delivery times and traffic patterns to fine-tune routing.
Online dating services, like Match.com, constantly sift through their Web listings of personal characteristics, reactions and communications to improve the algorithms for matching men and women on dates. Police departments across the country, led by New York’s, use computerized mapping and analysis of variables like historical arrest patterns, paydays, sporting events, rainfall and holidays to try to predict likely crime “hot spots” and deploy officers there in advance.
Research by Professor Brynjolfsson and two other colleagues, published last year, suggests that data-guided management is spreading across corporate America and starting to pay off. They studied 179 large companies and found that those adopting “data-driven decision making” achieved productivity gains that were 5 percent to 6 percent higher than other factors could explain.
The predictive power of Big Data is being explored — and shows promise — in fields like public health, economic development and economic forecasting. Researchers have found a spike in Google search requests for terms like “flu symptoms” and “flu treatments” a couple of weeks before there is an increase in flu patients coming to hospital emergency rooms in a region (and emergency room reports usually lag behind visits by two weeks or so).
Global Pulse, a new initiative by the United Nations, wants to leverage Big Data for global development. The group will conduct so-called sentiment analysis of messages in social networks and text messages — using natural-language deciphering software — to help predict job losses, spending reductions or disease outbreaks in a given region. The goal is to use digital early-warning signals to guide assistance programs in advance to, for example, prevent a region from slipping back into poverty.
In economic forecasting, research has shown that trends in increasing or decreasing volumes of housing-related search queries in Google are a more accurate predictor of house sales in the next quarter than the forecasts of real estate economists. The Federal Reserve, among others, has taken notice. In July, the National Bureau of Economic Research is holding a workshop on “Opportunities in Big Data” and its implications for the economics profession.
Big Data is already transforming the study of how social networks function. In the 1960s, Stanley Milgram of Harvard used packages as his research medium in a famous experiment in social connections. He sent packages to volunteers in the Midwest, instructing them to get the packages to strangers in Boston, but not directly; participants could mail a package only to someone they knew. The average number of times a package changed hands was remarkably few, about six. It was a classic demonstration of the “small-world phenomenon,” captured in the popular phrase “six degrees of separation.”
Today, social-network research involves mining huge digital data sets of collective behavior online. Among the findings: people whom you know but don’t communicate with often — “weak ties,” in sociology — are the best sources of tips about job openings. They travel in slightly different social worlds than close friends, so they see opportunities you and your best friends do not.
Researchers can see patterns of influence and peaks in communication on a subject — by following trending hashtags on Twitter, for example. The online fishbowl is a window into the real-time behavior of huge numbers of people. “I look for hot spots in the data, an outbreak of activity that I need to understand,” says Jon Kleinberg, a professor at Cornell. “It’s something you can only do with Big Data.”
Big Data has its perils, to be sure. With huge data sets and fine-grained measurement, statisticians and computer scientists note, there is increased risk of “false discoveries.” The trouble with seeking a meaningful needle in massive haystacks of data, says Trevor Hastie, a statistics professor at Stanford, is that “many bits of straw look like needles.”
Big Data also supplies more raw material for statistical shenanigans and biased fact-finding excursions. It offers a high-tech twist on an old trick: I know the facts, now let’s find ’em. That is, says Rebecca Goldin, a mathematician at George Mason University, “one of the most pernicious uses of data.”
Data is tamed and understood using computer and mathematical models. These models, like metaphors in literature, are explanatory simplifications. They are useful for understanding, but they have their limits. A model might spot a correlation and draw a statistical inference that is unfair or discriminatory, based on online searches, affecting the products, bank loans and health insurance a person is offered, privacy advocates warn.
Despite the caveats, there seems to be no turning back. Data is in the driver’s seat. It’s there, it’s useful and it’s valuable, even hip.
Veteran data analysts tell of friends who were long bored by discussions of their work but now are suddenly curious. “Moneyball” helped, they say, but things have gone way beyond that. “The culture has changed,” says Andrew Gelman, a statistician and political scientist at Columbia University. “There is this idea that numbers and statistics are interesting and fun. It’s cool now.”[Source]-https://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/sunday-review/big-datas-impact-in-the-world.html
Asterix Solution’s big data course is designed to help applications scale up from single servers to thousands of machines. With the rate at which memory cost decreased the processing speed of data never increased and hence loading the large set of data is still a big headache and here comes Hadoop as the solution for it.
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2020.03.11 22:36 -Maxy- Old School Developer Q&A - Transcript 11/03/2020

Weekly Q&A with Mods: Acorn, West, Husky, Sween, ED, Lenny, Bruno(Chat).
(See my comment on this post for a non-table mobile option!)
I've tried to format the Jmod-specific answers to be a bit easier to read, especially the last few questions. Please let me know if there's a better way.
Question Answer
Timestamp. Starts Acorn, West, Husky, Sween, ED, Lenny, Bruno(Chat)
Timestamp. Darkmeyer Poll results live, everything passed, Gielinor Gazette for March, Awesome, check those out.
Timestamp. We have a new quest, Sins of the Father and it brings a new Flail. However we don't know how good it is and is it only good against Vampires? Can you give us any insight? ED: It's the Ivandis Flail, plus 1 basically. It's an alright weapon but when used against Vampires it becomes good.
Timestamp. Some players don't feel that Dark Graceful doesn't feel as it could be? Show-off Screenshot was on a higher brightness setting, standard brightness setting is probably a bit more in line. Hasn't changed it since showing concepts.
Timestamp. What are the new XP rates for the new Agility course/game? Husky: There's a good reason the rates weren't released, it's that we're still working on implementing it. The difficulty of the minigame is going to be hard to judge without playing it just yet. Most people would compare it to Ardy or Priff in terms of effort. While werewolf and Brimhaven can be better XP, nobody does those because they aren't as enjoyable. We want to adjust it so that it's not dead content, and is enjoyable.
Timestamp. Can you give us info/XP rates on Daeyalt essence mine? ED: The Essence itself is 150% of Normal XP, but the mining time brings it back. It will possibly be better at ZMI but won't replace Lavas. It won't have a better RuneCrafting pet odds overall.
Timestamp. Can the scaling at Nightmare be changed to account for the fact that finding 5-man teams is difficult? ED: No, but we're looking at the rewards and drop-table. Looking to make some changes there soon so that could potentially make it easier.
Timestamp. Thoughts or interested in adding challenge mode Theatre of Blood ToB? ED: Probably would all like to but just gotta get it right, don't think that we should look exactly to Chambers of Xeric Cox to design it.
Timestamp. The new Inquisitors Armour has a lot of drawbacks and used pretty much nowhere? It has niches! It can be good for future content and we did not want to make it BIS over Bandos.
Timestamp. PVP - With the Gielinor Gazette there is the vision section etc. How do you determine what feedback is actually useful? Sween: It's hard, the blog talks about how many types of PVPers there are and what they have a different opinion on how useful their feedback is. A lot of things we kind of expected but want to get people to think about it in a big sense - it's hard to define what is useful. For example we have a list of players that have accessed the PVP worlds since the end of January.
Timestamp. PVP - Bounty Hunter can you update us, will it come back, where are we at, when? Sween: In the Gazette there is a section with this, we are aiming to restore some form of Bounty Hunter end of Month or Early April.
Timestamp. PVP - Thoughts on bringing DMM back? Lenny: A lot of the team are for bringing it back, so long as the right amount of time can be dedicated (toward the end of previous tournaments it showed) to keep it fresh. --- ED: We were definitely going way too fast. Love DMM it was a fun project to work on, would need to build on it and make it better. What about tasks and things. --- Sween: There could be more reward and we have options like main-game rewards similar to Leagues. Looking at the Twisted Leagues, that was a good example of the new look OSRS Leadership team empowering the Dev team, giving them ample time to get it right rather than rushing out to a schedule. --- Husky: Having the time between seasons would allow players to miss it and look forward to it and give us time to look and it and improve it to make it fresher. --- Sween: Dream Scenario could be to alternate between leagues and DMM. --- West: The final section of DMM tournaments, 1v1's was really interesting and was getting refined nicely. --- ED: The 1v1's are a good example of how things can change when we do have more time to make things, some of my favourite tools to create! --- Acorn: Loved behind the scenes work, social, at ESL, Tweeting, upstairs etc.
Timestamp. PVP - w45 Permanent DMM. What should we do about it? It has a dedicated player-base but hasn't really changed or improved. Reset? The Gazette Article says we don't know! We all have our personal opinions... --- Sween: Players on w45 are at a high level stage and it seems anyone that joins will get killed and not really be interested in continuing. Would see a full reset. Would want to see what things we could draw from Leagues, pets and so on that transfer between seasons. Then if we were to reset it regularly like every 6 months then offer incentive to play between seasons. --- Husky: It could be made so that seasonal progress is added to the w45 at the end of season, like Diablo. --- Sween: We need to make a decision though, even if that is to leave it as is to carry-on or for something else.
Timestamp. You polled adding imbues to LMS, but it failed. Should they be repolled and to specify that they can be imbued elsewhere like NMZ? Yeah could do, that poll came off the back of Warding so perhaps players felt we were trying to take away their imbues etc. It would be good to poll with updated information and make it clear. Maybe see how close it was?
Timestamp. Boxing is a problem in LMS. Covered in the Gazette! Exploring different timers maybe looking at deadman timer? Things like that, we want to fix it.
Timestamp. Wilderness Boss Rework? Do you know which team/which mods would be working on that? Just make sure that it's not a 'who I need to harass' ... Probably going to be the operators. Ash's Team (Ash likely going on to work on Clans), Oasis, Roq, Maylea.
Timestamp. PVP - Are you set on making the changes outlined in the Gazette? No, not set. We have said that we want your feedback to form it. Taken a top-level view of how PVP could be. Maybe to make PVP more dangerous/open world based and have seen lots of positivity.
Timestamp. Soul Wars - Gazette discussion. Why did you choose Soul wars for your ideation day? ED/Lenny: It's something that comes up a lot and we kind of wanted a proof of concept to see if things like this can be ported over and it seems like a piece of content that players like. It wasn't only about Soul Wars specifically, rather a starting point to see what we can do stealing things from post-2007 era. It is a segmented piece of content with Audio, animations, models, interfaces etc that we can test and look at.
Timestamp. With Soul Wars being the thing you chose, what about Stealing Creation or Fist of Guthix? ED/Lenny: Interested in these things! Thinking if SW does work then what about SC or FoG!? This was a bit of an experiment so want to know what players think and what. There is potential but would never want to go too far though. --- Discussion continues on OSRS vs RS3: We don't want some elements of RS3 like MTX or EoC but there was good things between the OSRS date and RS3 in the middle period. A lot of the tools and files don't work or take a fair bit of looking into to get working.
Timestamp. If we do a poll for Soul Wars and it passes, when would you expect to see it (or when would you like it?). Assuming that goes well, would like 'this year' but we are a long way off a complete piece of content rather than just having a working content. Even Soul Wars as one of the smaller pieces would take a lot of work to be game-ready. Also rewards as we don't have Summoning and how much do we bring back of the rewards? XP from minigames and botting are things to always consider.
Timestamp. Are there any unique rewards you'd want to add to Soul Wars in the future? Ed: The capes. Avatar pet too maybe! --- Sween: Imbues maybe?
Timestamp. A few upcoming projects that we teased at RuneFest, such as PVM achievement diaries. What are your thoughts on what that would look like? Think of an Achievement Diary, but with PVM! It sounds obvious but at the easy end it could be to kill a goblin and then at the hard end to Beat the inferno with a banana or certain gear. --- Husky: Tiers beginner to master. Beginner being like Mole or something that has simple mechanics and aren't interesting. Then as you go up you'd see things like 60-70's skills in diaries. Kind of pictures that as 'Do a Melee Fight caves'... Elite might be like kill Zilyana without taking damage with prayer flicking. Master would kind of scale at time based Theatre or Inferno. The reason maybe is that there's no real signposted direction into bossing. Perhaps something like PVM Diary could give them a linear path to go through. --- Still early days and don't focus on Husky's examples as what it will look like but think about it in a broader way.
Timestamp. You mentioned a second League, what would you want to do differently? Won't spoil it but having better balancing between relics, if something is so good that everyone wants to pick it then it shouldn't exist or everyone should be able to get it. XP multiplier relics are either really good or just not worth picking. Want to make it so that there's interesting paths rather than just picking what's optimal and would like to do something with drop-rates so that it's not so RNG based. Also to involve players more in design and balancing. Would like to change how it was announced, it was a bit too hidden for too long. Players generally liked it but it felt like a 'Nobody asked for this' and there were reasons for that, so we are looking at how and why and how to be more open.
Timestamp. Kingdom Divided quest. ED: Want to use the Gazette to talk more about things like this, it's penned for late in the year. Announced by Ash at RuneFest. Next quest in the Kourend series and hopefully some new spells. No promises: It might come with more remapping. (see West's previews and ideas from a few Q&A's ago). Definitely not the finale of the quest series by any means! This one brings the others together and there's plenty to go. Perhaps comparable to Regicide.
Timestamp. We know Coronavirus is a heavy topic in the world, how and is that going to effect Jagex? It is possible. It would inevitably impact release schedule if so but nobody knows at this point. There are steps to take well in advance like looking at working from home and how things like that could keep functioning. Player-visits could have to be put on hold. Have 2 play-tests booked for next month but will have to see what Jagex or Govt. Guidelines are.
Timestamp. Can players toggle receiving page drops in the Forthos Dungeon as this spams at Sarrachnis? Husky: Good idea. Possibly put the option on the guy you hand them into.
Timestamp. We saw an update on the God Wars Dungeon that allows clicks to register outside of the room (in the blank space) could we see something similar in the Lizardman temple? Possible yes.
Timestamp. Can you add a cleaning Herbs animation? West: Would like to do something for that, skilling animations like battlestaves.
Timestamp. Plans to add superiors for Drakes, Wyrms, Hydras? Would be cool yeah. Maybe a few others.
Timestamp. Quick-fire questions from here. Thanks!
Timestamp. What are you currently working on? West: Sepulcher --- Husky: Same! --- Sween: We touch everything as Community Manager --- ED: Sins of the Father quest! --- Lenny: Tutorial and early game improvements
Timestamp. How many OSRS accounts do you have? West: 2 or 3 --- Husky: 3 --- Sween: 2 --- ED: 1 --- Lenny: 2
Timestamp. It you could add anything into the game right now what would it be? West: Finish the reworks for Kourend --- Husky: PVM Diaries --- Sween: Clan system right now with clan vs clan features etc. --- ED: A quest that involves sand --- Lenny: Soul Wars.
Timestamp. Do you have any pets in-game, how many? West: 2, Skotos and Beaver on leagues/cats etc. --- Husky: 9 --- Sween: 0, over-rate on Vorkath and Zulrah. --- ED: Just a rock and the cat and fishbowl! --- Lenny: Cat, rock, clockwork cat.
Timestamp. What do you think would be the meanest drop in OSRS? (worst drop) West: Don't know, anything I don't want or Duplicates --- Husky: Rune Sword from GWD --- Sween: Kalphite queen in 2005, having to restock and kill with a team in Veracs...Red D'hide top --- ED: Vorkath with 2 Wrath Talismans, Cabbage from ToB --- Lenny: Acne potion from The Gauntlet!
Timestamp. If your normal account had 1 Jmod power, what would you choose and why? West: Teleport anywhere! --- Husky: Same, teleporting --- Sween: Probably teleporting or rotten potato! --- ED: --- Lenny: ::give!
Timestamp. When I say T-bow what is the first word that comes to your head? West: Farming Guild --- Husky: West --- Sween: Overpowered --- ED: Farming Guild --- Lenny: Spawn
Timestamp. What is your most forehead moment in OSRS? West: Died 2 or 3 times back to back to Hespori. --- Husky: First live Zuk attempt, tagged ranger and prayed range, tagged the mager and didn't pray mage. Wondered why I died. --- Sween: Started playing again 2015, training firemaking on a PVP world in Falador castle. Gotten in from the pub and had a few, someone traded and offered to sell something, forgot I was in a trade and was walked out of the castle then frozen and died. --- ED: All the way back to when I was a kid, someone said it hides your password if you type it backwards... --- Lenny: In the space of a single chat-box, Congrats 50 Firemaking message, you take a ship to Kourend, Oh dear you are dead as a hardcore ironman...etc.
Timestamp. Which Jmod do you think would be difficult to beat in PVP? West: Mod Archie? --- Husky: Probably Mod Curse --- Sween: Curse, Archie has had his day! --- ED: The person you least expect, Mod Acorn?! --- Lenny: Between Curse, Sween, Nasty. --- Acorn: During LMS playtest Nasty usually came first place, I couldn't beat him!
Timestamp. What is your biggest in-game pet peeve? West: --- Husky: The nothing drop on the rare drop table --- Sween: Old infrastructure and things that are old and bespoke/in-house. It's just behind modern equivalents --- ED: Delete Nightmare Zone! Then Wintertodt, Blowpipe, Twisted Bow. I'd delete so much. --- Lenny: Getting where you are going like on a Slayer task or something then forgetting one thing you need.
submitted by -Maxy- to 2007scape [link] [comments]


2020.02.29 00:24 Syntania Levi's Aquarium - A Fanfic Snippet

Levi's Aquarium - A Fanfic Snippet
I ran down the hallway to Levi's room, clutching the game to my chest. I had just gotten a copy of Watashi ni Shitagai Nasai, a fantasy dating sim that had not yet been released. I had planned on surprising him since I knew someone that worked on the game and had gotten me an advance copy.
I reached his door, and in my excitement, I forgot to knock and threw the door open.
"Hey, Levi! I got something for you I think you're gonna love! ...Levi? You here?"
I looked around. That's odd, he's not in his room? Where could he be? Then something caught my eye, a flash of movement. I turned to look at the wall. Levi had a huge aquarium that spanned one whole wall in his room, right near where he kept his computer setup. It was there that I saw the shape. A humanoid shape. I turned to look, squinting my eyes in an attempt to make out what I had seen.
It was Levi. He was swimming in his aquarium. I could tell he was in demon form, his black scaly tail swishing around like an undulating whip. His legs were together, streamlining his form as he swam. The purple and black scales that had been visible on his neck when clothed ran downwards in a spiral across his torso and covered the outside of his hips and thighs down to his knees. He looked so happy there, I could tell this was his element. I then noticed another important point; He was completely nude. I purposely tried to avoid looking at something else, but I had already glanced and I could feel my face turning pink. It was about that time that he noticed me. Happy at first, he waved at me from the other side of the glass, but then realized himself that he was completely exposed, and haphazardly attempted to cover himself, his face reddening deeply. The sleek, streamlined serpent had disappeared. He now resembled a drowning man as he tried to swim up and out of the tank while covering himself. I watched him scoop up something in his other hand as he reached the surface. A few moments passed when I lost sight of him. The entrance to the aquarium must have been on the other side of the wall. He emerged, wrapped in a towel, one hand cupped and held tightly to his chest. He had reverted back to his human form.
"Uh, hi, hey, didn't see you there." He grinned awkwardly, walking over to the fishbowl. He put his hand in it, and from it suddenly appeared Henry 2.0, Levi's goldfish. "Henry and I were just taking a swim in the big tank. Um, so what brings you here?" he asked.
Trying not to be flustered, I held up the game. "I, uh, got this for you." I held it out to him. He grabbed it with a huge grin. "Oh, wow! Watashi ni Shitagai Nasai! How'd you get this game? It's not even out yet!"
"I got a guy on the inside. He got me an advance copy."
"Wow! So, you want to play with me?" He was practically dancing with excitement.
"Sure! But first, you might want to put some clothes on."
"Oh! Uh.....yeah..." He blushed again. "So, right. Let me just go change."
I tried to concentrate on the game as we played, but just the sight of what I had witnessed was a huge distraction. Leviathan, shy little otaku that he is, looking like a magnificent sea serpent, his shining scales, skin smooth like a dolphin's, his tail waving to and fro. It made me think of him differently from that point on. I realized that maybe the reason he was so awkward normally might have to do with him being on dry land. He was literally like a fish out of water.



The inspiration for this snippet: the deflowered version of Levi's \"Resentment Runs Deep\" card.
submitted by Syntania to obeyme [link] [comments]


2020.02.28 07:42 nistramik Broke up my first fight today

Just started on my second year out as a teacher in Australia (24f) and had to break up my first fight today. This is a long one, but basically I want to know what you guys do to recover from incidents like these and walk back into the classroom with the same kids after a fight.
I teach my Year 7 class for the first and last lesson of the school day. Behaviour was a bit bumpy in our first lesson and I talked to my class about what we needed to do better when I saw them again and came up with an action plan. It started off okay when they returned for our last block but it quickly reverted back to chaos.
There are a group of three boys (let's call them James, Brian and Simon) that have had ongoing issues with another student in the class (who we will refer to as Ryan), dating back from their first year of primary school together. I had them spread out in our seating plan and often let Ryan work in a study room with some of his friends. Ryan has ADHD and a slow processing speed which often makes it difficult for him to stay focused and seated during our lessons. I had a support meeting with his mum yesterday where we started to update his Learning Plan for the new school year. Mum mentioned that she was worried about tensions between Ryan and James, Brian and Simon. I assured her we were aware of their history and would monitor it closely.
Our classroom space is an open plan, with a glass wall dividing the building so the Year 8s can work on the other side. It's a real-life fishbowl. There were some fights between 7s and 8s at lunch time, as well as some relationship drama and a wall ended up with a hole punched through it. My class struggled to focus, with two thirds of them being off task. Also worth noting that many come from trauma backgrounds and have diverse and specific needs which I am still trying to accommodate. I made the decision to pause the task they were meant to be working on and put on my stern teacher voice. I told them that they weren't meeting our agreement and that we again needed to identify what was going wrong and how we could fix it. There was total silence and some crestfallen faces.
And then, queue James and Simon. James refused to participate in the task and as soon as Simon saw this, he started running around the classroom. James started throwing paper so I calmly asked the rest of the class to stand up and walk outside with me. I was worried that James or Simon was about to explode. Simon had gotten into a fist fight with another student on Monday and had only just rejoined the class that morning. The rest of the class followed me outside calmly and sensibly, while James and Simon sat at their desks looking kind of dumbstruck.
After we had finished talking outside, I led the class back in to start packing up and to wait behind their desks so I could hand out an excursion form. As they were packing up, I picked up the forms from my desk which is at the front of the classroom. When I looked back up, Ryan was on the ground and Simon was standing over him punching him. I raced over and wrapped my arms around a flailing Simon and restrained him as best as I could. I'm only 165cm and haven't got much to me, but adrenaline is a hell of a drug. Simon continued to try to struggle free as I told Ryan to go and lock himself in my office. By now, the Year 8s had flooded out after seeing what was happening. Ryan laughed off the attack and stood up to grab his bag while Simon was still trying to get at him. James pounced on Ryan and threw him to the ground, kicking him as I watched on hopelessly still restraining Simon. The thing that makes me furious here is that there was a relief teacher standing about 5m away watching the whole thing unfold and not even taking the initiative to grab one of the Year 8 teachers to help. Note that the Year 8 teachers were in one of few blind spots at this time and couldn't see into the Year 7 area (both were super receptive and supportive when they realised what was going on).
James walked out of the building and I released Simon, scooping a protective arm around Ryan before Simon could get to him. I took Ryan to another staff member's office and locked him in there. He was crying and my God, I was so close to completely breaking down too. Simon grabbed his bag and ran off to hide in the Year 8 classroom. I got the attention of one of the Year 8 teachers and they phoned for Senior Staff. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and I could feel the tears coming, but hey, I had to get those excursion forms out before the bell! Some of my students were asking if I was okay and I replied with "I'm fine, I'm fine" and started handing them their forms. The bell went and the swarms fled the building.
I went to the office I had locked Ryan in. He had stopped crying, but I started as soon as I saw him. I asked him if he was okay and he said "Yeah, I'm going home" and walked out. Senior staff arrived about 30 seconds later. They were awesome and supportive, but I just couldn't stop crying. I felt so helpless restraining one kid while another beat into Ryan. Especially after the support meeting with his mum. Senior staff called the parents of all involved and were only able to get in touch with one. Our principal is coming down to speak to the students in our building on Monday. Both our Principal and Assistant Principal, as well as five or so other teachers have called or check in with me about it since I left work.
I anticipate that I will have more of a clear head before Monday morning rolls around, but I am already feeling anxious over seeing the class again as well as the Year 8s (who I also teach). Facing staff again feels bad too. It's comforting to know that they have all been there too and I do feel like they will genuinely back me if an angry parent comes knocking. But I guess the nature of our role makes us feel like we always could have done more or should have seen the signs and acted more effectively. There's footage of the whole thing that I know Senior Staff have watched, and part of me wants to see it too. I know it wouldn't do me any good and I would just dwell over it, but there's also an element of shame around the judgement others might place on me after watching it. I am absolutely overthinking and have already been given approval to take some time off if needed.
So, what are some strategies that you have found that work for you in recovering mentally from incidents such as these? What are some major DOs and DON'Ts?
submitted by nistramik to Teachers [link] [comments]


2020.02.24 10:45 MFRobots Seeing the same people through the years

I've done online dating for a while ,but in recent years, would take a year long break and return to see if there are any woman on the site that hadn't replied to my messages a year ago. Basically, new comers.
I live in a suburban sprawl outside of a major city, but it may as well be small potatoes where it's 80% retirees, and the rest is a mix of married or people already coupled up and/or Jerry Springer qualifiers.
(Jerry Springer candidates is the best analogy to draw you a visual)
Occasionally I would see a woman of class and caliber that would show up. Seemingly normal (teeth intact, not riddled in ink/woodland camo wardrobe, and other stereotypical mentionables)
These attractive (to me) types are one of 2 categories. Long time people that grew up in this fishbowl community where majority of their Fri/Sat nights are spent at the local watering hole. They were friends in high school, in their 40s, and STILL hanging out with their high school buds because they never left town.
THEN there are the newcomers. They moved here typically to be close to their aging parents. Usually from up north somewhere. I tend to go for them.
Anyways, kind of went off on a tangent there.
When I'd return from hiatus of online dating, I'd still see the same women I'd contacted last year. And through the years, they continue to age (get older) and still remain permanent fixtures of the online dating world. Sometimes when I'd re-join, I'd shoot them another email, just to see that maybe I'd have a shot with them...but no soap.
This has eventually let me to contacting women in the bigger city an hour commute away, but I mostly get the "You're too far" response...if any. Ironically, I have a few female friends in my area that have boyfriends they met online they met even sometimes MORE than an hour away. Go figure. But...they are women, men are willing to take a long commute to see them.
I dunno, do you think these women, some pushing 50, should ease up on their standards considering their limited options in a backwater town? Some even say in their profiles, "Local only please", well, they are kind of screwed if they throw on top of that their unrealistic standards in a man.
Any gents here in the same boat?
submitted by MFRobots to OkCupid [link] [comments]


2020.02.05 04:19 Jzraei Expiration Dating

I've been fishbowling in loneliness
From my phone, to my pants, to my tv
I've been posting cryptic statuses
In hopes you'd see me
You gazed upon the danger before
And all of the confusion inside
It's hard for me to turn this off
But I guess it's easy for you to hide
I ask myself "where is this going?"
Expiration dating until your future comes
It's suddenly like food poisoning
And I am suddenly not having fun
You'll find me here a little longer
With a fleeting sense of hope
It's useless to feed into your bullshit
Learn how to fucking cope
submitted by Jzraei to poetrywriting [link] [comments]


2020.02.01 05:11 ProminentAnonymous We just made a public date: Even if we weren't fucking people would say we are.

AP and I were both invited with SOs to a community event. We both said yes, we'd go but unfortunately neither SO available. I invited mine, he doesn't want to go.
I think AP and I should drive separate. Arrive separate, leave separate. If we want to have some car time, we should do that after and distant from the event- don't get me wrong- a whole area the size of a small state is off limits to us.
The fishbowl is just too much. This is a formal event. We will probably have to sit together AND take photos together. And I know, even if we weren't APs the connection is too much. Even if we weren't fucking people would say we are. I feel like I should end it on that basis alone but I just can't despite the limerence pain and some guilt.
I saw him this week- sat next to each other. Uhhhhh. It made me soooooooo hot. But with our situationship- we are like a local LD AP situation because touch requires a serious commute out of territory.
I don't want to sound like an asshole but I have heard rumors about myself before (that I know are not true because I know damn well who I fuck)! So in a way, if I have a friend of the opposite sex people in this horny town will imagine we are fucking.
Well, if everyone else is going to get off on imagining us fucking, then we should get in on the fun, no?
Our OpSec is insane, but OpSec doesn't matter when you want to tear each other to shreds. It's visible to the naked eye whether you are doing it or not.
I know I should be careful, but I can't help but plan this "date". His words whispered to me at our public event this last week.
submitted by ProminentAnonymous to adultery [link] [comments]


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